Surviving the Odds: How One Woman’s Near-Death Experience Changed Her Outlook on Life

Briana Dai [00:00:01]:

The thing that I was afraid had ended me was the exact thing that confirmed I was right where I was supposed to be. We'll never knock it over, the realization that, you know, good things can happen to good people and bad things can happen to good people. When you have all of the odds stacked against you, Stacked against you and you can just totally block that out and just focus on the thing that you know that you need to do, that is when— Welcome back. Today is another solo episode and I'm gonna get really really raw on this one about something that I get asked about all the time. We've touched on it in other episodes, but this is the first time that you're just going to get me talking through my story of what happened April 11th, 2024, when I had my cardiac arrest and clinically flatlined for 45 minutes. Um, I— before that day, I used to believe that if you were just a good person and you worked hard and you had faith and did the right things, that you were protected, you know? And then I ended up in the ICU. I will never knock it over, the realization that, you know, good things can happen to good people and bad things can happen to good people. Um, before April 11th, I was really on my way to have what I thought was going to be a breakthrough year, and it definitely was a breakthrough year, but not at all in the way that I ever had imagined that it would be.

Briana Dai [00:02:02]:

That December before, I had just turned 33, and I felt like this was gonna be the year. I was turning 33 on the 13th. It was my year of 3s. Like, like, if you're into numerology and angel numbers and all of that, like, this was going to be really good. And the week April 11th was proving that that plan was that plan was going to be panning out. I mean, I the week before April 11th had just been promoted to president of E Women Network. My husband had been laid off since December, and he ended up getting an amazing job that was even better than the one prior. You know, we were getting ready to go to Bali at the end of the month to be with my high ticket program, our pinnacle members.

Briana Dai [00:02:49]:

Like I was really on my my way, and I knew that things were going to be so good. And I had this rude awakening when the week— the very next week, um, my whole world flipped upside down, you know. I was totally blindsided by this. It was never even in the realm of possibilities that something like this could happen to me. I went to a med spa just to get like a simple outpatient procedure. I was trying to just tighten up some loose skin on my You know, I had a baby. I had loose skin on my stomach. There's this procedure that I can do that's non-invasive that I can do and get out in a day and feel better in a swimsuit.

Briana Dai [00:03:30]:

Like, heck yeah, let me do that. Well, turns out there's some risks when you do that, and I was overdosed with lidocaine by a lot and went into lidocaine toxicity. And, um, I did— I didn't drive home that day. In fact, I took my first ever helicopter ride that I will never remember because I was careflighted to the ICU and put on life support. And my family was told this did not look good. They were told to make end-of-life plans. They were told that I had a 1% chance of making it. And I'm completely oblivious to all of this.

Briana Dai [00:04:13]:

And I'm also completely oblivious to the fact that the EMTs worked on me for 45 minutes because even though my heart wasn't beating, they were getting some kind of electrical current that told them that I was still fighting. Like, there was still something in there, that my heart wasn't beating, but it also wasn't dead. And they could manually keep me alive, and I got stabilized. And, um, I think when I finally came to, it was a wake-up call because You know, before I, you know, I was a, I was always a competitor. I was always competitive. I was almost like a toxic perfectionist. Like I, um, really had my whole identity wrapped around my achievement. Like when I was growing up in school, if I was in the band, I was gonna be the first chair in the band.

Briana Dai [00:05:07]:

And then I got into color guard and I was like, well, I'm gonna be the captain of the color guard. And then I wanted to become an actor. I was like, I'm gonna go to LA and I'm gonna become an actress. And then when that didn't pan out, I shifted to makeup. I was like, well, I'm gonna be a celebrity. makeup. Like, it was never just to dip my toe into anything. I always had to be the best, and I had to be perfect at it.

Briana Dai [00:05:26]:

And coming and getting my everything flipped upside down, um, really rocked me. And it was this feeling underneath of going from being who I thought was an unstoppable woman and realizing that unstoppable and unbreakable Are not the same things. I, I, I was broken. You know, when I came to, I couldn't move my body at all. I, I was paralyzed. I was confused. I didn't know where I was. I just remember opening my eyes and seeing my husband's face, and I just looked at him and I said with like very slurred words and poor diction, like, What? What happened? And he was trying to explain it to me, and I had no memory of it, which was scary.

Briana Dai [00:06:18]:

He kept saying, you went to the med spa, you had the procedure. I said, no, that was months ago, 'cause I had gone to this med spa before and done something else. I was like, that was months ago. My friend Priscilla was there. Like, this was months ago. And I couldn't reconcile what had happened 'cause I had literally no memory of it. I mean, that day I even launched my new website, briannaday.com, and I was announcing and making this huge deal. And now here I am, and I have No memory of any of it.

Briana Dai [00:06:47]:

And my sense of identity, my belief in myself and who I was and who I was on my way to becoming was just totally stripped away from me. Like, one minute, one minute I was the woman who could handle anything, and then in the next, I was in a hospital bed realizing that unstoppable had never meant that I was— that unstoppable never meant what I thought that it meant. You know, I, um, I had to really, really get in touch with a fight that I didn't even know that I had. You know, I, um, the doctors were giving my parents and my husband and my friends and family all of this horrific, like, diagnosis. Like, when I finally could sit up, I couldn't walk. I couldn't move my legs. I couldn't move my left side at all. My right side, they asked me to raise it above my hand.

Briana Dai [00:07:38]:

my head, and I could maybe move it like a foot up above my head, uh, up from my side. Couldn't get it above my head at all. It wasn't even a foot, probably 6 inches. I couldn't move my body. They're like, well, you guys might need to get in touch with this being probably the best that it is going to get. And of course, I'm not hearing any of this. My family's hearing this, and they're all praying and praying and hoping and speaking life into me. And thank God for that community, and thank God for that faith.

Briana Dai [00:08:04]:

And What's interesting is at that time, you know, when you don't have oxygen for 45 minutes, your brain kind of takes a big hit. Like, this is what has been called a traumatic brain injury. My brain waves were really low. I was basically like a vegetable. That's why nothing was moving. My words weren't really working, making sense. And, um, so at the time, I don't think my brain was really even comprehending. the gravity of where I was.

Briana Dai [00:08:34]:

All I could do was focus on doing the best at whatever was being asked of me. So whenever a therapist came in and she said, now, you know, grab this pencil, squeeze this ball, move this hand, shift this, do this, do that, all I could do was just focus, just focus, just focus on the one thing that's being asked of me because I couldn't comprehend anything else. I had no divided attention. I didn't understand even like What I— to be honest, I don't even know that I understood that this could end up being me for the rest of my life. You know, I was just in this blip in the matrix, just going through the motions to get back to the Brianna that I was. And I think that that is the powerful delusional side of me that is my— was my best friend in this era of my life. Because when you— have all of the odds stacked against you and you can just totally block that out and just focus on the thing that you know that you need to do, that is when the unbreakable can actually become unstoppable. When you are able to eliminate the noise and just march forward with the task at hand, every little step, every single day, every little thing that was being asked of me got a little better and a little better and a little better.

Briana Dai [00:09:58]:

Having people around me, cheerleaders around me, and the focus to not let any of the noise get in the way, any of the discouragement. I mean, imagine I'm a lefty and I couldn't move my left side at all. I had a 3-year-old daughter at home. I couldn't even get up and give her a hug, let alone hold her. I wasn't thinking about that. I wasn't thinking about how far I had to go. I was thinking about this current moment and crushing it. And I think that having that level of focus is the greatest gift that could have come out of this experience because, you know, as a working woman with big dreams, you are going to have all these tabs open, all these things in your brain, all these different directions, all of these different beliefs, all these different opinions, all of these different naysayers that are saying you're not doing enough of this or you're doing too much of that.

Briana Dai [00:10:55]:

Or you're not being present here, and you're pulled in all these different ways, and you've got all these tabs open, all the things that you need to do. But when you can just singularly focus, be where your feet are, and do your best with where you're at in each moment, make the most out of every single individual moment that you're in—that is the unlock to really living the most impactful and fulfilled life in every facet of your life. When you can be where your feet are when you're at the office, singularly focus. and really work on your business, that is a gift because you're going to be so much more impactful with what you're doing when you can do that and block out all the other noise. When you're home with your kids, when you're able to be where your feet are and be fully present with your children and love them and be there for them, you're going to be such a more impactful, powerful mom than when you have all the noise and all of the little tabs that are open in your brain that are telling you, oh, but you also need to do this, you also need to do that. You're able to be present. When you're with your spouse or your partner, when you're with your friends, be where you are and focus on the one task at hand. And it is so much easier said than done in the world that we live in today because there are a million tabs open in our brain at any given time.

Briana Dai [00:12:12]:

They're all— there are all these portals and means of communication. People have emails, they have text messages, they have phone calls, they have Slack channels, they have, you know, Google Chats, they have like all of these different ways— Instagram messages, Facebook messages— all of these different portals of communication, things that are pulling you at different directions aside from just the the millions of tasks that are already in front of you. You gotta be able to focus. And that has been not only, I think, the secret to my ability to defy all of the odds that the doctors thought, because I was just so focused on getting better. Because there was a piece of me, I think, that knew— I always knew my story wasn't over. I knew that God didn't do this to me and, and put me here and knock me down to keep me there. This was a test. This was a test for me To prove to myself the fight that's in me so that I can prove to you the fight that is in you too.

Briana Dai [00:13:05]:

I know that that's my purpose. I know that's why God gave me this other chance. I'm getting emotional. Woo!

Sandra Yancey [00:13:11]:

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Briana Dai [00:13:42]:

I couldn't allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of self-pity. I think I went there once. I was in inpatient therapy at that point, and it was hard because I, you know, it was a weekend and you're stuck in a therapy center, and on weekends you don't have therapy, so you're there all day. And I had fallen at the hospital, and when we moved from the hospital to the rehab center, I was like, oh yay, the fall risk will be removed from my record and I won't have to be stuck in my bed anymore. And I had to have— I was stuck in my bed, I wasn't allowed to move without anyone, and I had a nurse that sat next to my bed 24/7 to make sure I didn't do anything crazy because I was so like— that, that, that's me. I have a hard time sitting still. I have a hard time being told not to move or being told I'm not capable. I just wanted to get up and go to the bathroom and I fell.

Briana Dai [00:14:33]:

And that's a huge no-no in a hospital. And that record I thought was gonna stay there, it followed me. It followed me to the rehab. So now it's the weekend, I have no therapy, I'm in the room, I'm not allowed to get out of my bed. They had ringers on the bed, y'all. Oh my gosh. like ringers, so if I tried to move, the ringer would go off. Like I was in jail in a bed is how I felt.

Briana Dai [00:14:53]:

And I was by myself. Sure, there was like a nurse in the corner, but I had no visitors. I had nothing to do. I didn't— I couldn't interact with my phone. Like I couldn't— I didn't have the fine motor skills yet to handle the phone. I tried to read a book, and my eyes weren't clear enough to follow the words on a page. I could do nothing but sit with my thoughts. And that was the one time where I really let myself feel the weight of where I was, what I was up against, and it really felt heavy.

Briana Dai [00:15:31]:

And I had to— I kind of had to quietly question myself. Like, I never said it out loud, but I kind of was wondering, like, did I get it all wrong? Had I, had I misread my calling? Like, is it actually gonna get better? And I went there once. And I felt it once. I had a big cry. I actually asked the nurse, she was like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, I just need to scream. I just need to scream into a pillow. If you could just give me some privacy, you'll hear the bed ringer if I get out of bed, trust me. But I just need a good cry and a good scream.

Briana Dai [00:16:04]:

So I was there alone with my thoughts and I felt it, and then I got back up and I said, okay, It's time to shift the situation. I— you can't stay in your pity party for long. There's this story about when, um, Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie, and she was so angry, and she went to a therapist about it. And the therapist said to her, you know, I want you to go, I want you to take a shower, I want you to cry, I want you to scream, I want you to be so angry for one day and then pick back up and start to rebuild. And that just came back to me just now. I wasn't thinking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston at the time, but that is what I did. I had my day, I had my moment, and then you have to get out of your pity party. If you stay there for too long, you're never gonna get past it.

Briana Dai [00:16:54]:

And I think that sometimes when we've been knocked down, when we've been hit hard, when it's really not looking good and it feels impossible, it's so easy to just stay there and stay and wallow in that self-pity. But you have to understand That being unbreakable is not the same thing as being unstoppable. And if you have a calling and a purpose and you know that you have not fulfilled it yet, you are not broken, you've just bent, and you can push through it. You know, unstoppable was never about slowing down. Unbreakable is about what holds you when you finally do. So strength was never the absence of breaking. It was really just It's really about, you know, how you rebuild after that. So for me, the takeaway, the biggest takeaway I gained— oh my God, so many lessons, so many things that I learned from this experience that I feel like we could get into.

Briana Dai [00:17:53]:

I could spend an hour talking about this, but at the end of the day, Everything happens for a reason. I believe that every crappy thing— this was the, the, the— for me to have this happen, it felt like such a violation. I felt I trusted in this provider so much. I mean, he'd come to my family's, my children's birthdays. I was invited to their wedding. Like, I, I had such a comfort level that it never occurred to me that I could be so misheld.

Sandra Yancey [00:18:24]:

Mm-hmm.

Briana Dai [00:18:26]:

And something that was so dangerous. Um, and that's another takeaway, just to go off on another tangent, and I can do that because it's a solo episode. So sorry if I feel like a little squirrel all over the place, but for any woman listening, you know, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you, you know, don't ever get anything done, just be natural. I, you know, as a woman who puts herself on camera, who subjects herself to A lot of criticism. Some of y'all that watch my content are really quite mean. In fact, I was just talking to the team off camera about how I never had an issue with my nose until I started posting podcast clips, and apparently I got a crazy nose. And I'll just show you, I do have some wild nostrils. Okay, if we want to zoom in on the camera here, I'll let, I'll let them do that in post.

Briana Dai [00:19:13]:

But like, I got some wild triangle nostrils. I know that, but it's cute. I got a cute nose. Anyways, I digress. The point of the matter that I'm trying to make is that we as women are held at impossible standards. And if you have the means and you have the ability to do something to make you feel better about yourself, I'm not going to try to scare you out of it. But what I do want to scare you out of is going off of the Groupon or going to the family friend who can do it for you. That is the— that is the recipe to totally putting yourself at risk of something really tragic happening to you.

Briana Dai [00:19:51]:

And it's always the people that you don't expect it to happen that happen. And I think that if you're going to go that route, if you're gonna go and try to, you know, make yourself feel better by getting some kind of a treatment or, you know, something that people might like deem vanity, I'm, I'm all for you doing what makes you feel good. But do your research and go to the best provider that only does that thing. Don't go to the person that, oh yeah, we can do that. Oh yeah, we got a discount. We can cut you a deal. No, no, no, no, no. Is that person the best at what they do? Do they have the most experience, the best track record? They might cost a little bit more, but your life is worth it.

Briana Dai [00:20:31]:

Your life is worth it. So all that to say, I kind of got off on a tangent. That wasn't really the point of this episode, but it was something that I feel a very strong need to say. Um, people ask me all the time, you know, what procedure was it? That's so scary. But what the thing is, is it wasn't the procedure. It was a provider. And that's the difference. So know and trust your providers.

Briana Dai [00:20:54]:

Every time now I go to get anything done— I had to have a C-section for my son because I had some complications, and I was terrified to have a C-section again because they put lidocaine in your body to do the spinal, to get you numb so that they can do their thing. Scared crapless. And what I realized is And voicing that fear and letting those providers know, hey, you know, I'm aware of the risks and this is what has happened to me, and I really need you to know that I'm terrified. And in telling them that and voicing that, they were so hyper-cautious, so cautious. It wasn't an allergy. They weren't afraid of the dosing in terms of an allergic reaction, but they were very cautious of what they were putting into my body. And all during the process of getting the spinal, apparently I've got scoliosis scoliosis or something, I don't know. But they couldn't get the— they couldn't find the part in my spine to really activate it, so they kept having to restick me.

Briana Dai [00:21:55]:

And so the person behind me kept saying, a little more lidocaine, a little more lidocaine. They're talking me through it, and all the while I'm hearing it, I'm freaking out on the inside. I just started praying out loud. And the nurse that was like holding my shoulders, because you know when you get your spinal, you have to like hunch over— I'm hunching over, I start praying out loud. She goes, oh, we're praying. And I'm like, yeah, I'm praying, I'm scared Crapless right now because you keep saying a little more lidocaine, a little more lidocaine, and this is my nightmare. But they cared so much about me and my safety that they took the utmost care. Same goes for getting my wisdom teeth out, y'all.

Briana Dai [00:22:28]:

I'm a 35-year-old woman and I have not moved my wisdom teeth, and now it's becoming a problem. So my dentist is like, we need to do that. I'm like, well, I got a history with lidocaine. And he's like, okay, well, here's the plan. So just— I— the point that I want to make to all women is to know your risks. Know and be your biggest advocate. No one's gonna advocate for you better than you, and you have to know what you're doing and know the risks and make sure that the providers know that you know, so that you don't find yourself in this kind of a situation. But, but the, the, the overlying theme here that I really wanna drive home isn't about procedures, isn't about lidocaine.

Briana Dai [00:23:05]:

It's not about providers. It really is that sometimes in life, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cuss here because I'm on my own podcast and I don't have to worry about my mother like nudging me. Sometimes shit happens so that the shift can happen. And for me, this was the wake-up call. This was the shift that I needed to get so clear on my mission here on this earth. Being given, being given a second chance at life, being given the gift of being able To have another baby, the gift of being able to stand on my 2 feet, the gift of being able to speak and to heal and to have some level of wisdom to share. That is the calling. That is why I'm here.

Briana Dai [00:23:56]:

And it's to let every single woman know that you can defy anything, any, any weapon formed against you. If you have faith, if you have a community, and you not only have faith in God, but faith in yourself. The thing that I was afraid had ended me was the exact thing that confirmed I was right where I was supposed to be. So no matter where you're at in your life, no matter what you think is breaking you, what you think is is ending you, know that maybe even though it might not make sense to you right now, it will make sense one day. It will make sense one day. And one day you'll be able to look back and be like, oh, that's why. Thank you, God. Thank you for breaking me.

Briana Dai [00:25:02]:

I needed to be broken so that I could prove that I can rebuild myself. And I believe that if you are broken right now, if you're listening to this, or maybe you know a woman who needs this message, send it to her. Because if you are broken right now, you can rebuild yourself. Share this with one woman who needs to hear it. Like this episode, subscribe to the show, share it, and know that no matter what 1% odd you're given, somebody has to be a 1-percenter. Why not be you? She doesn't just mean business. She means millions.