Radiate Success Without a Word: Linda Clemons Shares the Secrets of Body Language Mastery

Linda Clemons [00:00:00]:

They're not looking up unless they're, unless they're searching for hope. They're often looking down to the right and just there. And so it allows you to be able to be tapped into other people's nonverbal mews.

Kym Yancey [00:00:13]:

If they access their face, talk about that a little bit. Some of the signals, some of the things that people do that tell you what's going on with them.

Linda Clemons [00:00:21]:

Okay, I noticed that Kim, at first he was open, now he's bringing his chin. So Kim, are you really into this idea? Do you think this is a good recommendation? We really value your thoughts.

Kym Yancey [00:00:41]:

I am really excited. Hi, hi, hi. I'm glad you are here. We've missed you since you were here watching our last podcast, but we're together right now. This is Kim Yancey. I am one of the 3 trifecta for She Means Millions. Uh, I'm holding down the deck on this very special interview. I've got a very very special guest who means a lot to eWomen Network and to me personally, the relationship that we've had over the years.

Kym Yancey [00:01:06]:

Um, and before I tell you who she is, let me just tell you, have you ever said to yourself, I'd love to know how to radiate confidence without saying a word? I'd love to know how to do that. Think about that— power and confidence without saying a word. I mean, who can do that? I've got Linda Clemons. Now, Linda, before you come on, I was so moved by just the comments, the testimonies from the people who have interacted with you and you've been on their stages. And one of them is Jack Canfield. And he says, I love this on the back of your book, what he says. And I know Jack Canfield. I mean, he's— you got the cream of the crop here who are endorsing what you teach and what you've been doing.

Kym Yancey [00:01:53]:

He says, Linda Clemons is an absolute master at nonverbal communication. She doesn't just teach body language, she embodies it in a way that commands attention, exudes confidence, and creates an instant connection with everyone she meets. That's from Jack Canfield. Soledad— Jack, who's been at the eWomen Network International Conference and spoken there, and Soledad O'Brien, this is the incredible producer and news commentator, Says, uh, Linda Clemens is absolutely magical. She's an expert in body language and how we often give away a lot by our actions and movements. And another, my dear friend George Fraser, Dr. George C. Fraser says, Linda is a walking masterclass in the importance of body language, sales mastery, and human power dynamics.

Kym Yancey [00:02:46]:

Linda, you've got them coming every which way but loose. So welcome to She Means Millions.

Linda Clemons [00:02:51]:

Thank you so much, Kim. Thank you so much for having me and for being one-third of the trifecta. I'm honored. We've been friends a long time and, and admire the work that eWomen has done to be able to just touch lives, not just around the United States, but literally around the world. Because when you touch one person's life, they can light the candle of another. So thank you so much. I'm excited about what's been happening with the book. And for many of the people who have read the book, it's been a wonderful, wonderful journey.

Linda Clemons [00:03:22]:

If I could this. Someone had said to me, you know, I've been to conferences before. Our companies have had the opportunity to bring in different speakers, people from the FBI, you know, people from the military, and they teach behavioral science and they teach this body language. But one gentleman walked up to me and he says, listen, young lady, you're the real Quantico. And I said, what made you say that? He says, I'm retired from the FBI. I was in the FBI for 25 years. And he said, what you do is a different kind of level of being able to understand human behavior. And so what I say to everyone, what I do and talk about in the book Hush: How to Radiate Power and Confidence Without Saying a Word, it is built in you.

Linda Clemons [00:04:09]:

You know, there are great body language experts out there. There are great psychologists and therapists out there that study human behavior. But it is built in you. And one of the things that I encourage everyone to do in the age of technology— Oh my gosh, Kim, in the age of technology where they, you know, we have the attention span, someone says, of a flea, you know, that in that age of technology, we often lose that very important factor, that connection. So one thing that I want everyone to remember, even just starting our conversation, high tech, even though it's here, it's here, it's not going anywhere. It's making our lives easier. It's allowing me to talk to you through this wonderful platform. But remember, high tech, will not replace, at least not in my lifetime, perhaps not in your lifetime, it will not replace high touch.

Linda Clemons [00:05:05]:

And I think that's the secret for me that someone says, well, what sets you apart? Because there are all kinds of books on nonverbal communication. And I think that's one of the keys, and there's many, that sets me apart from, I guess, my colleagues or competition or competitors that are out there.

Kym Yancey [00:05:22]:

Linda, 3 decades of doing this, traveling all over the world. You know, what are some of your epiphanies around the teachings and your engagement with people around the world? You know, is it all the same, or do you find that in different parts of the country people respond differently, pick up on different clues? What do you notice?

Linda Clemons [00:05:46]:

Thank you for that question, Kim. And by the way, y'all, I paid him to say 3 decades because it's actually been over 4 decades now, but it just makes a girl feel younger a little bit. Okay, one of the things that I have found that— and Ekman Paul Ekman saw it in his— found it in his work, is that what's consistent around the world is our emotions, our emotions. Even if you are sight impaired. So for example, fear looks the same on anyone's face around the world. Joy looks the same. Sadness looks the same. Happiness, contempt, anger looks the same around the world.

Linda Clemons [00:06:26]:

And once the emotion taps into the mind, the moment that you think it, you ink it, it shows up on your face. It looks the same. Now, how is that important to us as we are traveling and dealing with people globally around the world? If I know that the base of the emotions is the same, then I need to get better in the conversation and the questions that I ask. So I'm going to give you a quick example. That's a good question, Kim. Give you a quick example. So there was a friend, a college friend, and just how women and men, we go through relationship things, right? And she was in this relationship a long time, off and on. And she said to the girls, to the group, she says, I'm done.

Linda Clemons [00:07:11]:

I'm moving on to greener pastures. But we knew— I knew she wasn't done. And so one day, I said to the friends, I said, you watch. I'm going to test my theory. And she's going to go into the fear, fight, flight mode. And you know, that's the part of our brain, the amygdala. When someone says something or we hear a noise, we freeze. What's that? So here's what I did.

Linda Clemons [00:07:32]:

So when she started that again, oh, I'm done.

Linda Clemons [00:07:33]:

I'm done.

Linda Clemons [00:07:34]:

I moved on. And I said to her— and I'm going to change the name to protect the innocent and the guilty, okay? And this is what I said to her, Kim. I said— and now watch what I'm doing. And I know you all that are watching, for those that are watching or listening. So what I'm doing, I'm doing what we call an eyebrow flash, where my eyebrows are going up. You know, when you're surprised about something like, oh, wow, that's neat, you got the promotion, or, oh, wow. So that's called an eyebrow flash, when the eyebrows go up.

Linda Clemons [00:08:00]:

Okay.

Linda Clemons [00:08:00]:

Surprise, intrigue, curiosity, and interest. So this is what I said when she said, I'm done, I'm done. And I said, it's a good thing that you're done. Now, my tone, you know, it's a good thing that you're done. And by the way, my eyebrows going up, Kevin has moved on too. She froze. She froze. And she froze.

Linda Clemons [00:08:20]:

And she said, with who? What difference does it make if you're done? So knowing for those that are out there that are entrepreneurs, that are— that you're still dealing one-on-one in sales, in closing, in negotiation, in persuasion, when you know that we all have the foundations unless you are physically challenged, disabled, or there can be invisible disabilities. So there's always exception to the rule. Neurodivergent, always exception to the rule. But we're talking about the rule, knowing that across the world that the smile— and I'm talking about a genuine smile, a genuine smile, not the— I grew up in pageants, not the pageant smile where the zygomatic major muscles. See, you didn't think you were going to get all this heavy-duty stuff here. You know when you get on this podcast, you're supposed to be ready and take notes. But that natural, genuine smile is the smile that lifts the cheeks up, and that's that zygomatic major muscles that go up. But the smile is universal around the world, whether you can speak the language or not.

Linda Clemons [00:09:26]:

So that's the one thing that I notice no matter where I travel, and I I say to myself, if I have that as a basis. So if I'm talking to someone and they're looking like they're down, you know, someone's feeling low, they're not looking up unless they're searching for hope. They're often looking down to the right and just there. And so it allows you to be able to be tapped into other people's nonverbal moves. And when you're tapped into their nonverbal moves, it can help you make those million-dollar moves. So it's so important, those nonverbal cues for those million-dollar moves. That should be my next book title.

Kym Yancey [00:10:01]:

I don't know. You know what? This is so fascinating because I have shot over, you know, I had an advertising agency for 15 years and then 26 years with the eWomen Network. And I do tons of production. And I have to tell you, the single thing that I coach people on every time they're in the studio, bar none, is smile more. And I've learned that people hear the word smile and process it differently. In other words, you know, you tell someone to smile more and they just do a little crack on their face. Just a little, you know, little thing, you know, no, go bigger, go bigger. You know, and that's the toughest thing.

Kym Yancey [00:10:40]:

And without a doubt, everyone that I find myself coaching to smile more, it is not a trivial, trivial thing. It is a major deal, the, what your face is communicating. And so, um, as I hear that, I just want to make sure the audience that this is not a quick little, hey, just, Smile more. It is central to what it does to the nervous system and the body.

Linda Clemons [00:11:06]:

Absolutely. In addition to smiling more, studies have shown even laughter. Laughter is good for the immune system. Laughter is also— they use laughter, bring in comedians in some of the hospitals where children have terminal illness. It does something for the body. It increases all those good hormones in your body, in the cell, and all that good stuff when you smile. And by the way, When you smile, you can instantly change your mood. Have you ever like— if anyone out there listening, okay, okay.

Linda Clemons [00:11:40]:

And then you could, you could confess if you want. It's good for the soul. Otherwise, you can raise your hand right in front of your mirror if you want to. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to just be upset? You know, I'm, I'm upset what happened at the job. I'm upset what happened with the client. And you just want to be upset. And then someone else comes in your presence and says, what's wrong? I don't want to talk about it. And they say something to get you to smile, to get you to laugh.

Linda Clemons [00:12:03]:

And you're like fighting and you don't want to do it. You don't want to do it because it changes your mood and you succumb to it. And the next thing you know, oh, you know, had this bad meeting or had this happen. And but I guess it'll work out that the moment that you smile and absolutely for the women that are listening, it could do wonders for the face. It could help those exercise, exercise those muscles. It can help you look younger without going under the knife, if you will.

Kym Yancey [00:12:29]:

So, tell me, just walk me through some of your favorite tips out of the book. How do you radiate power? What's the power? Just explain that to me a little bit more.

Linda Clemons [00:12:44]:

Okay. So, for example, for those that are listening, there's a study that was done on the communication theory. Study is being now challenged because well over 60 years ago, and it talks about the percentage of our nonverbal communication. Well, it's safe to say that our nonverbal communication is over 80% of our total communication. It was our first language before we ever spoke a word. Think about a situation where you're in a room, in a meeting, or you're networking, and someone walks into the room. They don't say anything. Is it the way they're dressed? Maybe.

Linda Clemons [00:13:16]:

You know, we as women, we're looking at, oh my gosh, that outfit is sharp. Look at those shoes. What if it's not the clothing? It's something about the way they carry themselves. So people who radiate power, and confidence without saying a word. They know who they are. And they know the value that they bring to the world. So it's not that imposter syndrome versus where you're thinking, oh my gosh, will everybody know that I'm not qualified to do it? Because the moment that you begin to speak those things, oh my gosh, things start taking place in the brain. The subconscious mind begins to act upon it.

Linda Clemons [00:13:53]:

Think about how many times you might have woke up in the morning and said, it's gonna be one of those days, versus you wake up in the morning, says, hello world, give me some sunshine because here I am and I'm gonna capture the world. It's how you begin to speak. And let me tell you what my grandmother used to say. My grandma— my grandmother has some good words of wisdom. She said, baby, the moment that you think it— she said, whatever you think, your thoughts impact the way you talk, and your talk affects the way you walk. And I thought, oh my goodness, it took a while to break that down. So if I, if I think I can and believe it, then all of a sudden versus my shoulders, Kim, slumped over, and you say, come on, Linda, you can do it. You think so, Kim? You could do it.

Linda Clemons [00:14:37]:

Yeah, you got this. I can. I can. You begin to rise to the occasion. You know, Sandra once said, I loved it, many, many years ago because it made an impact on me when she gave the acronym for fear. I love it. She said, face everything and rise. And that's what's so powerful when you radiate that confidence, and it's like an internal light that beams from you.

Linda Clemons [00:15:02]:

Someone said to me, like, we're on this presentation, they said, what kind of lighting that you have? I said, just a, uh, uh, $75 or $80 ring light. No, it looks different. Are you using a filter?

Linda Clemons [00:15:13]:

No.

Linda Clemons [00:15:14]:

Is it your makeup? No. It's the inner light that radiates because I believe that the gifts, the talents, the areas of expertise that I have, that it was given to me in this time, in this present, to be given to you. And so if my self-talk impacts the way I, I carry myself and the way I walk, that's the first thing. So let me ask you this, Kim, and for everyone out there listening, and ladies, listen up. Think about it. What would happen if you, say, have a loved one or yourself that's in the hospital and you have to have surgery? You know, we're not putting it in the universe. It's simply a hypothetical. And the surgeon walks in and, and he just— I mean, you know, there's some things going on in the household, you know.

Linda Clemons [00:15:59]:

You know, the dog left home, okay? The toast was burned and the tire was flat. And he walks in, shoulders slumped in, and he says, you know, I'm your surgeon and, uh, Yeah, it's going to be all right. You know, I've done a few of these things and, uh, it's gonna be okay. I think we can do this. I think the tone— and you're thinking, oh my gosh, I don't care how many degrees are on the wall, you're not working on me. All because of how his countenance, the way he carry— or she carry themselves. So when you begin to get that inner fire, which starts with the inner thoughts. And by the way, every Oscar Award-winning actor goes through that.

Linda Clemons [00:16:41]:

It's— if they call it, or if they've had— if they've been trained through the method acting, that they literally become that part. So why am I saying this to you? When you begin to have self-doubt of your capabilities, of what you bring to the world, where is that coming from? You're the originator of your script.

Linda Clemons [00:17:00]:

Do you feel like you're drowning in your business? Like you're doing everything and something has to give, but you're afraid it might be you? What if I told you there's a network of over 500,000 women entrepreneurs all dedicated to supporting each other? A network of women helping women. I'm Sandra Yancy, founder of eWomen Network, and I'm inviting you to join us and become a member. We can't wait to meet you.

Kym Yancey [00:17:30]:

You know what, Linda? There's a common statement being made with everybody marketing today, and you hear terms like be authentic. Now, what— and I think to myself, what are you trying to say to someone like when they're taping or they're presenting themselves? Be authentic. Does that mean t-shirts and jeans? Is that your definition of you know, being authentic, or you're, you're, you know, your face is out of sorts. You know, I mean, if you're going to a formal ball, you're putting on the glitz. If you're going to do yard work, you've got on your yard work clothes. You know, I mean, how do you interpret that when people say work on being authentic? What's your response to that?

Linda Clemons [00:18:11]:

Yeah, so when I hear authentic, where I hear what people are saying, be yourself. But sometimes we have to give a definition because you have, you know, just like the many faces of Eve, you have to have your true self come out when you're in a formal environment. You have to have your true self come out if you're negotiating, being your authentic self. Because if not— by the way, there is a famous quote by the late Mary Kay Ash, you know, the founder of Mary Kay, and she used to have a saying called fake it till you make it. Now here comes Linda Clemons, and Linda Clemons says the fake will fade. Because when you're your true authentic self, it's like a symphony. Your words, your tone and your nonverbal are congruent. So what if I— so just everyone that's watching and those that may be listening, I want to demonstrate something right now.

Linda Clemons [00:19:00]:

So I'm having a great time having this conversation with Kim Yancey. And what's taking place, I'm using my hands. I'm using my hands to emphasize, to punctuate, to give, you know, just to accentuate whatever I'm saying. But here's what's critical. My power zone is open. Yes. What is the power zone? One of them, it's the heart area. So as I'm talking to Kim, my heart area is open.

Linda Clemons [00:19:24]:

My palms are exposed. Now, when I say congruency, Kim, as far as being authentic, what if I did this? My arms are folded. And Kim would ask me the question, Linda, are you having a good time? Oh, yeah, Kim. I'm having a ball. OK? So for those watching, look, for those that are watching, I said, yeah, Kim. I'm having a ball. My arms are folded. So you're going to think I heard the word.

Linda Clemons [00:19:49]:

I heard the words according to the communication theory, about 7%. Her tone, about 38%. But I don't know, the body overrules. She said, I'm having a good time, our arms folded. Now here's the thing, your perception, your perception of my arm folded arms is closed off. And for everyone that's listening, their perception is their belief. It may not be the fact. So let's say I'm— Kim asked me this question and I'm saying, oh yeah, I'm having a great time being here.

Linda Clemons [00:20:20]:

The tone may be throwing you off as well. But let's say you leave the broadcast and this is what you missed when all of a sudden I start shivering a little bit. Okay. And the next thing you know, I get a scarf. Oh my goodness, she was cold. So quite often we judge people on the first movement. But when you are authentic, your words, your tone, and your nonverbal are all in good— they're all congruent. One of my favorite quotes is— I call my Clementine quotes, right? And it goes like I cannot hear what you are saying because who you are being is getting in the way.

Kym Yancey [00:21:01]:

Mm.

Linda Clemons [00:21:02]:

So when you're authentic, Kim, your words, your tone, and your nonverbal are all congruent. So let's say it's a formal and everybody's supposed to— men in tux, women in long gowns— and I decide to come in a mini dress, you know, bring that back out, right? Hey, I'm authentic, and I'm comfortable in it. Well, I'm in my authentic self, but I'm out of order based on the invitation. But everybody says, oh my God, that's Linda. That's who she is. So that's being your authentic self. And I've got a little acronym for everyone so you can remember. Think of the word TAP, like tap dance.

Linda Clemons [00:21:37]:

T-A-P. T as in Tom, A as in Apple, P as in Paul. T would stand for truthful. So you say to yourself, you know what, to thine own self be true. You know, to that, I'm going to be my truthful self. I'm going to be truthful so that I don't have to worry or be caught off guard. I'm gonna be truthful. I'm gonna show up as my authentic me, and that's my best me in every situation.

Linda Clemons [00:22:02]:

And if I show up in truth and being authentic, and the letter P, it'll show up in the proof in me. And I'm demonstrating. So, if you could remember those little things and being who you are, your best self, because we have the other side of me, right? It's being your best self. And that makes you be more authentic because we are still human.

Kym Yancey [00:22:23]:

Let's talk about people selling to you, whatever it might be. You're in furniture stores selling a couch, whatever the case may be. Or someone— perhaps a better example is take a networking event. you know, we have tons of events that we do, over 2,000, you know, annually every year. And you go into that event, what can they do? What can a person do, or you recommend they do, to stand out in that room? You're walking into this room with 100 other people around, they're all networking, and you want to emerge, stand out? What would you tell them to do? What's your advice there?

Linda Clemons [00:23:09]:

Absolutely. Absolutely. First of all, in my book, I talk about when I go into networking rooms about scanning the room. So, I just don't walk in. And I do pre-work, by the way, to find out what the event is, who may be there, if it's listed. And so, when I go into the room, I go in and I pause. I'm pausing at the door because the door is a frame. It creates like a picture frame for me, if you will.

Linda Clemons [00:23:30]:

I'm pausing and I'm scanning the room. What am I scanning for? I'm scanning for corners and areas and pockets. So for example, I'm looking in that one corner, let's say in the right corner, and they're just a bunch of people just standing, but their body language is their head, people looking around like, okay, let me get out of this group. Then I'm looking at, I'm looking at that left corner over there. Wow, there's energy, there's engagement. I like that. I'm going to put that on my list. Then I'm looking at another area of people talking because that's what happens in networking circles.

Linda Clemons [00:24:00]:

I'm looking and there's a space. I talk about the triangle method in my book where it's not a closed circle where they locked off the networking. There's an opening. And I'm thinking, oh, that's my spot. They're waiting for me. So I look— when I'm looking at a room and I look at the energy, I am looking for energy. People are attracted to energy. And I'm looking for the energy.

Linda Clemons [00:24:23]:

And that's the first place that I go to go in to see where I can add value. And now, by the way, I don't go in to take. I go in with the intent of giving. And one of the biggest mistakes everyone makes in their networking, oh, this is my business, this is what I do, how I can help you. Whoa, how do you even know me? You don't even know hers. How could you say that? And that's the biggest no-no and one of the biggest turn-offs. Because when you make it about the other person, and when people say, hi, my name is, uh, Kim Yancey, my name is Stacy, my name is Linda Clements, and before they say Uh, what do you do? And I'm gonna say, my name is Linda Clemons. I was about to ask the same question.

Linda Clemons [00:25:05]:

Why don't you go first? Tell me what you do.

Kym Yancey [00:25:07]:

Oh, I love it, Linda, Linda, Linda. That is, that is such a smooth— because I, I'm a huge believer in, I want to know more about you first, because I, I can maneuver, so to speak. I can move around when I know who you are. But I love the smoothness, the way you handle it. Would you repeat that again, Linda? That was nice.

Linda Clemons [00:25:27]:

Oh, because when they say, for example, hi, because I'm coming, remember, I found that opening spot and I'm coming into the group. And the individual says, hi, my name is Linda. They'll say, my name is Kim Yancey, or my name is Stacy. What do you do? I was just about to ask you that same thing. What do you do? And by the way, when I say it, my eyes are wide open. I'm curious, excited about what do you do? And it sometimes, it catches them off guard in a good way. Now I own the conversation. Well, I have this business and now I'm listening for critical items and things that are important to them.

Linda Clemons [00:26:01]:

The law of recency and primacy. People will share in the time that they have what's important to them first. So here's what I do. I have an operation where I have a series of spas and we do wonderful massages. So I know now what's important. Then I'm able to go into my data file to figure out all the things that I do and I offer, what will match with that. And that's what I do. I go in finding out what's important to you so that I can add more value.

Kym Yancey [00:26:29]:

Linda, on stage, you're on stage. And I know this happens to you because you're so intuitive. You're looking at that audience and you're attracted to certain people. I mean, I bet you could say, if someone were to say to you, hey, pick out 5 people, you know, from your vantage point, you were on stage, 5 people in the audience that captured your eye, that you, you know, you kind of lasered on them. What's going on with them? Is it, is it the smile on their face? Is it there? Is it that, you know, they feel open? Tell me about that, because I know that that has to happen to you all over the country.

Linda Clemons [00:27:04]:

Yeah, it happens. And because one of the things that, that Kim is mentioning— excuse me— one of the things that I do all over the country when I'm speaking, I ask for volunteers. I ask for volunteers because they— and they have no idea what they're volunteering for, so they're excited and everything.

Kym Yancey [00:27:18]:

OK.

Linda Clemons [00:27:19]:

So that means they're open. They're open. You know, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer says, be attached to nothing and open to everything. I'm asking for volunteers, and they have no idea. But what I'm looking for is engagement. If they are doing their power lean, if they're seat ready. What are you talking about, seat ready? How many times have you attended a movie, and the movie is so good, and I'm sharing this about the movie? I says, oh my gosh, Kim, you've got to go see the movie.

Linda Clemons [00:27:44]:

It was so good. I was sitting at the edge of my seat. So I'm looking to see if people are like leaning in. that power lane, and they're listening to every word. So that means they're open. You, you, picking you, come up to the stage. And they run with fire. I'm looking for engagement and people who are present in the moment and in my presence.

Linda Clemons [00:28:06]:

That's what's critical. And they make great subjects. We do not know each other. We don't talk about— and therefore, they come open for the possibilities of what can I learn? I want to learn something about myself because there's something that I've said that touched them in a way, either touched their mind, their heart, their soul, their spirit. Something touched them and they want more of it. And that's what happens. And so I get accused quite often of being psychic when I bring people up on the stage. I get accused of all kinds of being clairvoyant.

Linda Clemons [00:28:38]:

All these things is because when they do come up on the stage, And they're like little kids. And, you know, listen, we all got a kid in us, right, Keon? We all do. We got a kid in us. I'm a kidult. That's a new word for you all, OK? I'm a kidult, all right? I'm a kidult. I'm a kidult, all right? And so when I bring— when I bring them up on the stage and they're eagerly listening, and I— and of course, I give them a few instructions because it's very important how we pay attention to see if you're coachable and just to watch them. So I'm watching, and the audience is watching. So while they're on the stage, That's how you capture an entire room.

Linda Clemons [00:29:15]:

For those of you that are out there, speakers, that's how everyone is engaged. Because the art of curiosity and that trigger, it has them— what's going to take place? So they're not texting, they're not tweeting anyone. That's how you capture a room to get their attention. And they're able to see situations and examples of maybe perhaps what they're going through, through the volunteers that I have on the stage. But I'm scanning the room. I, I scan the room, by the way, out of habit when I into any building, and it maybe could be my OCD, I always ask how many exits in the— how many exits in the building and all that. And, and what they think, hey, no, no, no, I'm not a criminal or anything like that. I just like to know that in case there's an emergency, that my amygdala, my reptilian brain, is not hijacked.

Linda Clemons [00:30:00]:

That's why when— if there's a fire or something going on, crisis, people panic. When you know your direction, when your points, the exits there, you You can automatically override that and help get a lot of people out. So I'm looking for all kinds of things, and I make it fun when I bring people up on stage. I'm just not a talking head giving data and all of that. It's edutainment, baby. It's edutainment.

Kym Yancey [00:30:27]:

Man, Linda, what do you do? You're going through the grocery line, and the clerk, whoever it is, male, female, whatever, And they're just grumpy. You know what I mean? No smile, no, no, not bringing energy to the table. What do you find yourself doing in those situations where, you know, you're experiencing that? What do you do? You just go through the line? Do you change something in your physiology or body language? What happens? How does Linda Clemons handle that?

Linda Clemons [00:30:58]:

So that's another great question, Kim. So in here, I want everyone to think about this. For every And please write this down, and I know you all are. I'm just giving you an embedded command. Okay? So I want you to write this down. For every emotion— so like I said, someone is grumpy. For every emotion, there's a motion that goes with it. So we say by motion, so if they're grumpy, what that means, they're, you know, or their way they're stacking the, you know, bagging the stuff, or in their shoulders, and, and they're just the grumpy language.

Linda Clemons [00:31:27]:

So there's kind of motion, you know, or they're They're just snatching the stuff or whatever. There's emotion. But here's what's critical, and this is where your power is. For every emotion, there's some kind of motion, meaning movement, but there's always a story attached to it. There's a story. So if I see someone's grumpy, what if I said this? So are you okay today? What's wrong with you? Guess what? That's confrontational. Versus changing the tone. So, hey, Kim, How's your day going? Because like, if they got the little name tag, how's your day going? How's your day going? What can I do to make your day better? You know, or something that will lift their spirits.

Linda Clemons [00:32:06]:

All right. I normally say, well, if they're grumpy, and I see this all the time, thank you for coming into work today. I tell them thank you so much because I remember during the pandemic it was hard to be able to talk to people. And I said, thank you for coming into work today. And then automatically at that moment Wow, someone appreciates something that I do. Because we don't know what the story that's attached to that mood. So for every mood and every emotion, there's a story that's attached to it. They could have got the worst news in their life.

Linda Clemons [00:32:39]:

Something could have happened. And when we understand that, that's when we begin to be able to activate the humanity in us.

Linda Clemons [00:32:47]:

Yeah.

Linda Clemons [00:32:47]:

us because we're not perfect and we all go through those moods sometimes.

Kym Yancey [00:32:52]:

Man, I got so much to talk with you. It's gonna be story time here in just a minute because I—

Linda Clemons [00:32:56]:

We only got so much time.

Kym Yancey [00:32:57]:

One of my favorite stories, and I want you to share yours. But before we move into that, what are some of the clues, all right, for, you know, we have a— we have female entrepreneurs, CEOs listening, listening to this, um, that you can bring to their awareness? And here's what I For example, you're talking to someone, maybe you've got a group of people at a table, there are 10 people at the table and you're having a meeting and someone accesses their face. You know, instead of like, you're talking to me, your hand's not on your face or anything like that. You're straight ahead, you're listening, you're talking. But if they access their face, talk about that a little bit. Some of the signals, some of the things that people do that tell you what's going on with them.

Linda Clemons [00:33:38]:

Okay, absolutely. So say you're in a boardroom meeting and you're the one that's doing the presentation. And remember, I want you to think about clusters. And I say clusters, reading nonverbal in more than one movement. Just don't look because, you know, I might be— there's a little itch if my hand goes to my face. So look for more, more than one movement before we assess anything. OK, and look for congruency and look for the context of it. OK, so watch this.

Linda Clemons [00:34:06]:

You said something in the meeting. Everybody's all hands on deck. OK. And I'm using this term meaning everyone in the boardroom at the table, they're all leaning in. You're leading the meeting and they're showing interest in what you're saying. Hands on deck. Then all of a sudden you said something like this. It looks like based on last quarter's numbers that we're going to have to close XYZ department.

Linda Clemons [00:34:29]:

Then all of a sudden someone is taken aback. You remember they were leaning in. They go backwards. Then all of a sudden, and it said, and we're going to downsize some other areas too, and the arms are folded. So that lets you know there was 2 movements there. Someone took it personal. Now you ask, okay, before we end the meeting, you know, we gave you the good news, the bad news, that indifferent. Before we end this meeting, are there any questions? So you've got a couple of people that are really upset.

Linda Clemons [00:34:56]:

They're a little angry, like, wow, they spring this on us all the time. And they may want to say something. And then all of a sudden, because remember the context of it, remember the context, then you see the hand go up to the face near the mouth. Okay, that's another way of biting their tongue. But what before then, when you ask, are there any questions whatsoever? You saw lip compression. For everybody out there listening and watching, take the lips, press them together. Now think about that. It's like you're biting your tongue.

Linda Clemons [00:35:26]:

How many times you want to say something and someone says, are you okay? You're Yancy. Yo, Yancy, you okay? You wanna say something? And you go, I'm good. And then you press your lips together. You're wanting to say something. The brain said, wait a minute, dude, you wanted to say something. But you're trying to force it back in. Then I'm gonna say, are you sure, Kim? And then you bring the hand up to mouth. Now you're trying to lock it and put a key on it because you're trying to hold— So, but remember, you want to watch and observe in the context of what's going on, you know, because what if Kim's— what, what I get— what if I've given something that's pretty complicated and, you know, the room has to really think about, you know, where I'm asking their feedback, how we're gonna work this out.

Linda Clemons [00:36:05]:

And then Kim's hand goes up to the face underneath the chin. And you'll see some politicians do that. They're contemplating. Okay, let me think. Let me think. Well, then everything else is congruent with that. But knowing the context of when that movement takes place, it's very critical because that lets me know this is good if you're negotiating. Oh, I hit a nerve that allows me to stay on that certain line of questioning.

Linda Clemons [00:36:29]:

And these are the nonverbal cues that we're missing. And thus, we're not making those million-dollar moves. So knowing it's the context, so that's— I could do a couple of things. Okay. I noticed that Kim, at first he was open. Now he's bringing his chin. So, Kim, are you really into this idea? Do you think this is a good recommendation? We really value your thoughts. Please, please share.

Linda Clemons [00:36:48]:

Well, now, but see, but I would have never known that if I didn't see the hand contemplating if this is going to work. So watching for those movements, more than one, watching for congruency, like, then all of a sudden Kim brings his hand down, shakes his head like, this ain't going to work.

Kym Yancey [00:37:03]:

Uh-oh.

Linda Clemons [00:37:05]:

So, Kim, what are your thoughts on this? I wanna— and look, and my hands are open. I did not fold my arms because it's my original idea that I'm bringing up. And how many times we all get upset that we suggest an idea and everybody else doesn't like it, and we took it personally? Ladies, listen to me. You— sometimes we have a tendency to have the attachment to the idea, and then when someone gives an objection, rejection, or, or they simply don't like it or have a different opinion, we become emotionally attached to a thing they're talking about us has nothing to do with you. And then it shows up in your body language. So I may— if I get upset about it because Kim's contemplating, that doesn't sound like it's going to work in the 4th quarter. And then I, I said— and I fold my arms and says, okay, Kim, with one arm pointing towards him, so what's your thoughts on this? And for those that are watching, you've got to really see this. And I said to Kim, what's your thoughts this.

Linda Clemons [00:37:57]:

Now I'm saying this to Kim with my backhand, my forehand. Said, excuse me, what your thoughts? Guess what I just did? If I take away the sound and I say to Kim, what are your thoughts on this? I just— watch this, Kim, with no sound. I just did dismissal. I just dismissed. See, we don't realize it. The moment that you think it, you ink it. It shows. There's a, there's an old R&B song.

Linda Clemons [00:38:23]:

Kim, you're a former musician. It's written all over your face. You don't have to say a word. I hope we don't have to pay for that. I didn't sing it right.

Kym Yancey [00:38:34]:

Oh my gosh, Linda, listen, I, um, and I'd like for you to— I'm gonna share this story because it's so poignant, but, um, my, uh, father in his retirement opened up a store. It was like a, uh, like a 7-Eleven, but it was like called Stop and Shop. And this is in Dayton, Ohio. I lived in Dallas and I was flying home for a weekend visit. And I went right to their house and my mother answered the door and we were talking and I said, hey, where's Dad? She says, oh, he's over at the store. She says, give him a call. I said, you know, let me just go over there. I'll just surprise him.

Kym Yancey [00:39:13]:

So I get over to the store and I opened the door and where he had the register where people checked out was just a little bit raised, just a couple of inches kind of raised up a little bit. And there was a guy behind the counter. His name was Red, and I knew him. And I looked in, I didn't see my father. And so I, with my mouth and hands, I said, you know, hey, where's my dad? Like, where's my dad? You know, but he's reading my lips. And he says, back in the back, he's back by the cooler. I started to walk back there, and then I turned back around to Red, and there was a grouping of 5 to 6 people. They were all, you know, 60, 70 years of age, in that age group.

Kym Yancey [00:39:58]:

And I pointed to him like, what's with— and he says, oh, they're waiting on your dad. And I thought, waiting on my dad? Does he know that? He's got this store, he's got people waiting on him, you know. So I go back, give my dad a hug, and I said, hey, Dad, you got a group of people out there at the register waiting on you.

Linda Clemons [00:40:17]:

Wow.

Kym Yancey [00:40:17]:

And my dad says, oh, oh, give me a minute. He goes around to the counter, gets up to the counter, and then they get in line. The first person is a woman, and he says, oh darling, I can't tell you how much it means to me that I get to see you today. You look so wonderful. You're wearing my favorite hat. Oh darling, it's just so good to see you. Then the next person after him was some guy. Oh man, I can't even begin to tell you.

Kym Yancey [00:40:47]:

So good to see you, man. How you doing? What's going on with you? He had his own personalized greeting for each one. People lined up in his store. Probably the only compliment, kindness given to him dressing up. It just, it changed my life. Linda, do you have any stories? Do you have a favorite story? Something that happened to you or something you saw that— but that's my story. That was the— it was, it was a life changer. And I can only hope that I could one day give that kind of feeling to people.

Kym Yancey [00:41:28]:

It was something to watch, Linda.

Linda Clemons [00:41:31]:

It was something to watch. We're both getting emotional because I Um, uh, uh, we are in a world— and I know that gives you memories of your, your dad— we're in a world where people just want to be seen and they just want to be validated and just want someone to notice that I'm here. One of my stories, I was speaking at a high school in, in Michigan and, um, talking to the junior high students And it was, you know, I brought the kids up on the stage and, you know, and shared with them, here's what I see about you. And just showing them some things to do with their body language. So when during the summer when they go out for their interviews, that they would be successful. And Kim, it was at the end of my presentation, a little young boy came from the rafters, from the balcony, and running backstage.

Linda Clemons [00:42:27]:

Wow.

Linda Clemons [00:42:28]:

And they said, oh, Ms. Clements has to go. I says, no, no, no. Anytime a young person needs my time, they'll get— I'll give them the attention. And the young boy came back and he said to me, he said, I noticed the way you brought the people up on stage and ooh, and you read their body language. It was something special. He had this little smile on his face. And then the smile vanished.

Linda Clemons [00:42:50]:

And he said to me, he said, you just don't read the body language.

Kym Yancey [00:42:54]:

Mm-hmm.

Linda Clemons [00:42:55]:

You look inside their heart. You don't just judge outside. Are you able to see their heart? And I said, well, what comes out of them, the personality. And here's the question that got me when he said, from their body language, can you tell if a person doesn't want to live? Now, what kind of question What's that coming from a child? So needless to say, I brought it to the attention of the superintendent, the principal of the school, and they met with his family. The young man was troubled. Now he's doing well to this day. But what that told me, the power of being 100% present in another person's presence.

Kym Yancey [00:43:47]:

Yeah.

Linda Clemons [00:43:49]:

You have no idea. Today may be the last day. I don't know. And see, yesterday's a canceled check, tomorrow's a promissory note, and today is the only day we have on hand. And when I hear that story about your dad and the story about that young man from Michigan, I think our mission is to be able—

Kym Yancey [00:44:14]:

Yes.

Linda Clemons [00:44:14]:

to have everyone transformed when they're in their presence, that they leave better than when they walked in the door. And that's what your dad did.

Kym Yancey [00:44:26]:

Man, listen, Linda is one of our gifted speakers at the conference this year. And this is just I can't— you just can't even imagine what your experience is going to be like with her live in person. Um, Linda, I'm so thankful that, um, with your busy schedule that we've got you. And she'll be there. You've got to see Linda Clemons at the eWomen Network ICON Conference. I just want you to know, this is— you're not going to want to miss a minute of this. You're going to be locked in your seat. Get your seatbelt on.

Kym Yancey [00:45:10]:

Linda, is there anything else as we close down this chapter of She Means Millions that you'd like to leave with the audience before we call it a day?

Linda Clemons [00:45:20]:

Absolutely. I love She Means Millions, and this is so important. Here's what I want you to do. Continue to live your life to its fullest. Show up your best self and continue to learn as much as you Earn as much as you can so that you can return as much as you can. And that's how you make millions and continue to leave legacies in the world when you're long gone.

Kym Yancey [00:45:51]:

What a gift you are to eWomen Network. Thank you, Linda. Thank you so much. All right, so that's it. She doesn't just mean business, she means Millions.

Linda Clemons [00:46:02]:

Millions.