Navigating Business and Marriage: Secrets to Thriving as a Couple and Entrepreneurs

Sandra Yancey [00:00:08]:

I mean, Johnny Carson, Michael Jackson, you know, are introverts. And people find that they're surprised that that's it. And so they know when they're on and they also know where their comfort zone is.

 

Kym Yancey [00:00:19]:

I say that lovingly. Some of the reports in the beginning was that it was a small plane that ran it. So you saw the smoke coming up, but you didn't actually see it go in.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:00:28]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:00:29]:

At that point.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:00:29]:

Right. Couple of tips, I guess, for working together. And we're still figuring it out because we're still growing and shifting and changing. And the most important thing is it's important that you. So Kim and I built this company basically at our kitchen table. I mean, it was a space, spare bedroom above our garage, but we worked a lot at the kitchen table too. Which means, you know, that for a long time, work just really never actually left the house. So learning how to turn it off at night might, you know, might be one of the hardest things that we've ever done together.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:01:18]:

So we're going to talk a little bit today about, you know, working as a couple and particularly for those of you that are home based, it can be a little bit extra challenging. And some of the solutions that we found that has helped us to survive 26, going into 27 and beyond years. And so I know that I can say that for me, I had a really hard time really understanding the boundaries between work and home. The lines became pretty blurred for me and I think it was because Brianna was, I think, nine years old and Ryland was four. And so I had a little one at the house and a daughter that still needed for me to keep my eye on her and kind of watch things. And I was really learning how to be in business and share an office with you, which I had never shared an office before ever. So that was an interesting thing for me. And you'll be able to say what that was like for you too, because I'm not sure you ever shared an office either.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:02:29]:

When we shared the office, we have interesting stories about what happened to us in that office. And. And then, you know, for me it was like, oh, I know what I can do. I can start the laundry and then, oh, the laundry's done. I can run downstairs and throw it in the dryer and oh, the kids are going to be coming home. I can take, you know, the frozen meat out of the freezer and get it to start thawing and oh, you know, while this is happening and I've got the timer on or waiting for the water to boil. I can work on this. And at the kitchen table.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:00]:

And. Oh. And before you knew it, I just didn't. What was working, what wasn't working. I had stuff everywhere. I mean, I had stuff in my office, on the kitchen table, in the kitchen. I'd be over in the dining room. I mean, just wherever it was, you know.

 

Kym Yancey [00:03:16]:

And remember what the big event of the moment was?

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:19]:

No, I didn't.

 

Kym Yancey [00:03:21]:

9 11. That was that we were really. We were so focused on the business. We were just. And I remember coming downstairs and actually Dale calling.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:33]:

Well, we were both downstairs, but Dale called our operations person and she said, have you turned on the television?

 

Kym Yancey [00:03:40]:

It was. And some of the reports in the beginning was that it was a small plane. Yeah. That ran it. So you saw the smoke coming up, but you didn't actually see it go in. Yeah, at that. At that point.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:50]:

Right.

 

Kym Yancey [00:03:51]:

And I remember I was, you know, upstairs working, and I came down. I went, wow, that's something. And.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:56]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:03:57]:

So focused on what's going on.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:03:59]:

And I was at the kitchen table. This was back in the day when I had a little machine and I was running all of the monthly charges manually. And I not only had. They were 1695 at the time. I not only put 1695, but I had to hand put in everybody's credit card and the zip code and run them manually. And if something declined, I had to make a separate note of it because it's all manual. It wasn't online yet, and I didn't know Excel, that kind of thing. So it was all kind of a very analog way of.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:30]:

Of tracking. It was. It was crazy. Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:04:34]:

And then. So I went upstairs. And then you went back upstairs for a minute. Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:39]:

And I stayed down running the credit cards.

 

Kym Yancey [00:04:42]:

And then I think you yelled or screamed, another plane.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:45]:

Yes.

 

Kym Yancey [00:04:46]:

Has hit. And I came downstairs like, what is going on?

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:49]:

Yes.

 

Kym Yancey [00:04:50]:

And I do remember. Was it the Pentagon or something?

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:53]:

You know, they were. They were trying.

 

Kym Yancey [00:04:55]:

I mean, it was. It was outrageous. But, you know, that was right at the beginning of.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:04:59]:

You know, we weren't quite a year old because 911 was 2000. It must have been 2001. 9 11. Because we launched. We launched September 18th of 2000.

 

Kym Yancey [00:05:12]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:05:13]:

This was done. And because we had an event seven days a week later.

 

Kym Yancey [00:05:18]:

That's right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:05:19]:

And we didn't know whether to cancel the event, to not how to cancel the event, or whether people would want to come or not come. And we ended up holding the event. And everybody came. I think everybody just needed a place.

 

Kym Yancey [00:05:30]:

Right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:05:31]:

And we Used it, you know, to just process feelings and prayer and, you know, really it was just so mammoth, the issue. None of us were thinking about networking for our business. But it became, you know, almost an indicator of the community, as I look back, that we were beginning to build after almost a year, that people wanted to come where they knew people and could be in community and process, you know, what we were all feeling. And people who knew people and had relatives in the. In the tower.

 

Kym Yancey [00:06:02]:

And yeah, I remember us talking about business at the table. And we were. Because it was also new to us. We were really amped up about it, you know what I mean? And the kids, oh, man, they really kept us in line, don't you think?

 

Sandra Yancey [00:06:25]:

I do. But I also really remember them, like waking up at 3 o' clock in the morning and because our office was upstairs and they were upstairs and I remember Brianna, we had our desks faced each other and we had about three feet in between because we had a little table there that had the printer that we would both share. And I remember Briana bringing her pillow and a blanket and sleeping in between us there, you know what I mean? If it was raining or something like that. And she remembers actually those, those times as well. And then I remembered you coaching me on sales and I'm on a call and you're handing me notes.

 

Kym Yancey [00:07:06]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:07:06]:

Of things I should say sales points. Yeah. Because you were the salesman and I wasn't and copywriter. Yeah. And. And you're passing me notes and I'm trying to stay focused on my conversation and read your notes. And I finally got so frustrated and started wadding them up and throwing back.

 

Kym Yancey [00:07:24]:

That was a real moment.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:07:27]:

And then one day, I'll never forget it, Saturday, and I went to Home Depot and this is when the show Trading Spaces was popular and they were doing all that faux, you know, with the sponges and the cheesecloth, that kind of thing on the walls. I walk in, I think I needed light bulbs, to be honest with you, the reason why I went to Home Depot. But I walked in and they were doing a, what they call I'll never forget it, do it herself workshop. And they were appealing to women who wanted to come and learn how to faux paint. And I ended up taking the. I'm like, yeah, I'll do it. It was like a two hour class, putting on the like, like hazmat suit they had, you know, and gloves. And they're teaching you how to faux paint.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:08:10]:

And before you know it, I am buying layers of paint and sponges and cheesecloth and, you know, all the things. Because the rowers, the pans, the whole bit. And I come back and. And. And I go upstairs, and the next thing you know, we had a spare. We had another small room, and it was a workout room, which never got. We never worked out. And.

 

Kym Yancey [00:08:34]:

And so I worked out a little bit. Go ahead.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:08:37]:

Okay. And. And I start wheeling. The most exercise I had was pulling that. That exercise equipment out there. And you go, like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm moving out. I'm moving out of our office. I did my own space, and I.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:08:55]:

But before we do that, I'm going to paint it plum, and I'm going to do this wall, and I'm going to faux it mauve. I'm going to bring my desk over, and you're just looking at me like she's gone crazy. But you didn't say anything. I just like, I need space. I need quietness. I need. And yeah, that was one of the secrets, was you're extroverted and I'm introverted, and we can have our extroverted conversations like this, but you're. You get your energy from noise, whether it be conversation or music or the television.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:09:28]:

Like, you get up and turn on the music.

 

Kym Yancey [00:09:30]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:09:31]:

I mean, if Kim's not home and I get up, you will never hear anything in the house. I'll never turn on the television. You know what I mean? I'll never turn on the music. You know, I mean, I'm just, like, quiet, and you're. You know. But that's also what I love about you, because we never eat and not have jazz music in the background and, you know, all of that kind of thing. So, I mean, that is. That is my attraction to you.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:09:55]:

What you. You know, how different you are than me. But we started realizing then. And then I just started feeling I was going batty with everything everywhere, and I am a little ocd. I have a high need for everything to be in its place. And if I can't find something and I can't then get my hands on it in a few minutes, I start to feel anxious about things. And I'm looking for a necklace right now at home. It's killing me because I can't find it now.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:10:18]:

I'm afraid I lost it or I left it in a hotel or whatever. Drives me crazy. I can't quite release it. It's like an open tab that goes ding, ding, ding. I. I was like, we need a different space, and you are the one. How did you Find what is now our headquarters.

 

Kym Yancey [00:10:35]:

Oh, yeah. Mutual of Omaha. Well, first of all, can you tell which one's the extrovert and which one's the introvert? You're like, you got this covered.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:10:44]:

Well, I, I.

 

Kym Yancey [00:10:45]:

Well, I know you call it learned extroversion.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:10:48]:

Yeah. I mean, Johnny Carson, Michael Jackson, you know.

 

Kym Yancey [00:10:51]:

Right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:10:52]:

Are introverts. And people find that they're surprised that that's it. And so they know when they're on. And they also know whether. Comfort zone.

 

Kym Yancey [00:10:59]:

Yes, I say that lovingly.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:01]:

No, you didn't.

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:02]:

Yeah. But now, what was your question?

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:07]:

And see, you were listening. No, no, Quiet. But you weren't listening. Did I just catch this?

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:12]:

I was, I was captivated by your eyes.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:15]:

Is that what it was? Well, I can't remember either.

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:19]:

We're in trouble.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:21]:

We're talking about just, you know, me.

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:23]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:24]:

Not having a sense of. We needed to, we need a speech of Omaha.

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:27]:

That's where we had the turn. I mean, you know, list it's really. And those of you that work from home and all that, I mean, it just. Work was in everything, wasn't it? I mean, it was in the dining room table, the laundry room, in every way. Work surrounded us because we, we did, every moment that we had, we put back into E Women Network. Yeah. And I, I mean, somehow I was doing. I was doing a radio show called over the Top with Kim Yancey.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:11:57]:

That's right.

 

Kym Yancey [00:11:58]:

On. Yeah. A station in Dallas. And I was working with the Dallas Management School and met a guy by name of Nolan. Who.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:12:07]:

University of Dallas Graduate School of Management.

 

Kym Yancey [00:12:09]:

That's exactly right. And telling him about E Women Network and, And he really liked it. Really like what we're about. And in fact, he helped put together a pro forma the first, first time we had one of those for the company and just our vision for what we wanted to see happen. But he told me that there was an office space that we could probably sublet if we wanted a couple of offices. And it was Mutual of Omaha.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:12:36]:

That's right.

 

Kym Yancey [00:12:36]:

In Addison, Texas, which is a northern suburb of Dallas, Texas. And went there and sure enough, we got a couple of office, worked out a deal with them and subleased from Mutual.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:12:49]:

And today those offices are occupied by Debbie and Stacy and Mike and Debbie, Stacy, Mike and you.

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:04]:

Yeah, yeah, Those were the offices.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:07]:

Four offices.

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:08]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:08]:

To this day that we have.

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:10]:

And then we needed more space and

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:13]:

they moved out and we took over

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:15]:

and then more space.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:15]:

And it was a medical building, a medical company, supply company was next to us. And they moved out and we took over, and then there was an insurance company. And then we turned the corner and then we took over. We just kept expanding, expanding, expanding.

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:29]:

But, you know, what did you notice once we were in that office building? Did you find that. I found that we were still highly engaged. Not all the time, but, you know, the kids really, really made us. Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:44]:

To be present with the kids, we. That was pretty important to us. And it was important to them, too.

 

Kym Yancey [00:13:48]:

We had to work on it.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:13:49]:

We actually gave them permission to call us if they caught us talking about business. They were over it or whatever, you know what I mean? And. And they did on a couple times. I can still remember a couple of times. They helped. They helped us with that. But what I loved about moving to an office is a. I mean, you don't judge me right now, but I felt more legit as a business owner.

 

Kym Yancey [00:14:14]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:14:15]:

You know, I had an office to go to. It made me more accountable because now I was paying rent and it may be. It made me hyper focused because I was coming in. I dropped the kids off at school and I would come in. I was like, pedal to the metal of everything. Because now the materials were here, the binders were here, the copier was here, the fax machine was here. We'd moved everything. So we didn't have all the things at home that was at the ready.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:14:41]:

Not everything was in a database like it is today. And we didn't have the online files like we have now, the whole back end to our system. And so it really made me hyper.

 

Kym Yancey [00:14:56]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:14:56]:

Hyper focused and way more productive.

 

Kym Yancey [00:14:59]:

Yeah, for sure.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:15:00]:

It was. It was. I'm glad we did it. I think it made me really. It made a big step into my CEO M ism and approach it differently,

 

Kym Yancey [00:15:10]:

you know, because we also knew that we had to create a escape valve, a way of getting away from the business because it, you know, it was easy to overtake us.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:15:21]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:15:21]:

Emotionally. Yes. You know, we're processing memberships with fax machines and everything else.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:15:28]:

And we started driving separately so that you could stay if you needed to when I got the kids, because I would often pick up the kids, get them home, get the homework, get the snack, get them play dates, you know, whatever it was. And then I would do some more work from home and you would be here. So we started kind of early driving separately. And I would say, wouldn't you say 90, over 95% of the time, 98% of the time, we still drive separately.

 

Kym Yancey [00:15:52]:

What do you think was the big one? Of the biggest things that changed everything for us at home.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:15:59]:

Do you feel like you're drowning in your business? Like you're doing everything and something has to give, but you're afraid it might be you. What if I told you there's a network of over 500,000 women entrepreneurs all dedicated to support each other? A network of women helping women. I'm Sandra Yancey, founder of Ewomenne Network, and I'm inviting you to join us and become a member. Ewomennetwork.com we can't wait to meet you.

 

Kym Yancey [00:16:30]:

I'll tell you what, we got help. We got Dolly.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:16:33]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:16:34]:

Remember that? When it came to laundry, I'm telling you, I saw you. I saw. I saw it just. It was really like kind of pancaking on top of you. In other words, you know, the laundry and the meals because you like to cook.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:16:50]:

I love to cook.

 

Kym Yancey [00:16:51]:

You know, the meals.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:16:52]:

And I wanted the kids to have homework.

 

Kym Yancey [00:16:54]:

I mean, I'm just saying it all. And I just knew, man, if I don't get some help around here. And so we interviewed and found a woman, her name was Dolly, who basically worked at the house five days a

 

Sandra Yancey [00:17:06]:

week for 15 years.

 

Kym Yancey [00:17:08]:

Fifteen years.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:17:09]:

Once the kids started, you know, graduating and going out on their own, we just didn't need her. And she was. By that time, you know, she was up there and was ready to, you know.

 

Kym Yancey [00:17:19]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:17:19]:

Call it as well and just work part time here and there. But she even helped me with my mom. Yeah, she, you know, ended up really loving my mother and visiting her in the hospital. And, you know, it's interesting how that worked. I think the next big hurdle that we had to overcome was when we started to build our staff. And now when it was just me and you, we were kind of like we had to divide to conquer so we weren't stepping on each other's toes because you had things you were working on. We kind of felt like if both of us are doing the same thing, one of us is unnecessary.

 

Kym Yancey [00:17:56]:

Right, right, right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:17:57]:

You know, so we really, like, this is what you're doing. This is what I'm doing. And we would come together. Then once we started building a team, it got a little bit more complicated and complicated for them. And I think to this day, one of the biggest complications our staff has with us is they think that because we're married, I know what Kim's working on, and Kim knows what I'm working on, and that's just not the way it is. And so I think they're like, Kim didn't tell you or you didn't know that or whatever. And I'm like, no kind of thing. Because we do turn it off a lot when we get home.

 

Kym Yancey [00:18:27]:

We do.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:18:28]:

And so what I realized is we started now stepping on each other's toes and the team started stepping on each other's toes not because they intentionally were doing anything wrong, but they didn't know because we didn't communicate the boundaries.

 

Kym Yancey [00:18:44]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:18:44]:

And so we had a come to Jesus meeting, if you will, one day. Just being. I don't remember if you were upset, if I were upset. We were both upset. But we, and I remember we just got in front of the flip chart at the time. It was before we had our big whiteboards and we were just like, we need to clearly divide, find sandbox and we need to communicate this to our team so that they know.

 

Kym Yancey [00:19:06]:

Well, also, you know, you, you naturally gravitated towards the finance side of the business. Naturally. I just, you know.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:19:13]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:19:13]:

It was kind of innate inside you.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:19:15]:

Yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:19:16]:

And I was really consumed with the creative and the marketing, communication, you know, and that kind of. And then, then also operational operations for me. For you, in terms of what's in your camp versus mine.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:19:29]:

What I understood and appreciated from the very beginning was that you could have the best idea in, but if nobody knows about it, if you don't know how to message it and you don't know how to market it and you don't know how to brand it, it doesn't matter. You'll be the best kept secret. So that was your genius. And I knew if I could focus on kind of, you know, what we were doing, set up the system, set up the processes, operationalize, watch the money. And you were working on the branding and the marketing, which were two full time jobs, both working, you know what I mean, kind of thing. And then we were both working on kind of admin, how we get it. And then I almost, I almost lost it when we decided to do conferences because that was way beyond. I had no idea how to put on a conference, which is how we got one of our first employees who stayed with us for 23 years before she retired and moved to Ohio.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:20:16]:

But it was interesting to me, just kind of the whole dilemma that we had. And I still think when we get aggravated with each other, it's because I get in your sandbox with either not being invited, I've inserted myself, in other words, or not asking for permission, hey, I want to talk to you about something that's going on in your shop. And I get aggravated when you violate those two things. And so I think one of our real secret sauces for working together as a couple is we have clearly defined our sandboxes and we have two fundamental rules, and that is don't come in my sandbox without talking to me or asking for permission or being invited. And I won't do the same thing. And I think today when we get a little irritated with each other, it often comes down to. And I was just thinking about, we're moving downstairs and we've got some. We've got a budget.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:21:16]:

And if you know anything about moving, it's really hard to stick to that budget. I just found out today we have another $10,000 in new outlets, charges kind of thing. And you. And so I manage the finances, I manage the budget, and I don't have one for the studio. And I have gotten angst. Developed a lot of angst about it. Right. Kind of thing.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:21:37]:

And that's a whole nother. Like, you need to communicate with me because this is my sandbox. You might have the vision, but this is my sandbox. I need to know that it's in the budget, that it's, you know what I mean, kind of thing. And then I go to Stacy, Literally, I go to Stacy yesterday and I say, she's here in the room with us, one of the production people on the team. And I start asking about it. You know what I mean? Which is his sandbox. Right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:22:00]:

And then you have a meeting with Tony, who's putting everything together. And then Tony says to Stacy, I'm talking to Kim about it. But she. He didn't talk to Stacy. But I want to know from Stacy, do you see what just happened? I'm illustrating for you. And I, it was a pinch. We call it pinches. You know, it was a pinch moment for me.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:22:16]:

I was like, what? And remember we had a talk about it yesterday?

 

Kym Yancey [00:22:20]:

Yeah, we did.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:22:21]:

In the hallway. Like, hey, I'm not liking how this is feeling.

 

Kym Yancey [00:22:25]:

I got you covered. I'm going to give you the number. Yeah. It won't be a surprise. Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:22:33]:

I didn't want it to be as I don't like surprises. I'm a very planful person, you know. Yep.

 

Kym Yancey [00:22:39]:

Yeah. But it's nothing a wonderful dinner won't exactly like to go to our favorite ice cream spot.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:22:46]:

Yeah, we will see. Because. Because yesterday I, I leave at 4:15 every day. This is another way we work together, is I, I, I. Not every day, but every. Every Thursday I try to leave at 4, 4:15. Actually, it takes me 15 minutes to get out the door. And my little follow ups and this and that.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:23:04]:

The other plan for my Friday, because I go to Brianna's and I cook for Brianna and Travis and Tatiana and Bryant. And then I get to put both babies away and spend the night and get them up in the morning and cook. And this morning she was watching Rumi from K Pop and she said she wanted a really high ponytail. And so I put it really high like Rumi. And I said, you know, I could braid it and you'd look exactly like Roomie. And she said, and yes, yes. And so I did it. And then she had to change because she had to look more like roomie before Travis was going crazy because he needed to get her out the door.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:23:37]:

But, you know, it's just all these little memories. And you come home and you take care of Dash because Brianna's got three big dogs that would eat him in a nanosecond. And, you know, and. And take care of the fort of things and stay a little bit later here. And then we have our Friday nights.

 

Kym Yancey [00:23:53]:

Totally.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:23:54]:

That I look forward to. Not because I'm done with work, because I feel like if you look forward to Friday because you're done with work, you're doing it wrong. I really do. If you're working just to get to Friday, you should go do something else. Really. I mean, you are not in alignment with what you're on the planet for. My belief is, I mean, I love the whole week and I love. We call it Friday.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:24:15]:

How to end with a yay kind of thing. So I look forward to Friday, but I also look forward to Friday night because I will have spent the night with the kids, you know, and it's just. You're just so easy and comfortable and you take me to go get ice cream and. Yeah, yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:24:33]:

You know, it's kind of funny. I have to laugh at this. When we. When the kids used to get on us about, you know, talking at dinner or what about work or what case may be. And then we found ourselves. I remember, okay, we won't talk about work. And all of a sudden it was like, I know. Silence.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:24:50]:

Fine. Talk about something I know. What'd you do today? Nothing. Exactly.

 

Kym Yancey [00:24:55]:

One word answers. Tell us what has you the most excited right now.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:25:00]:

Nothing, you know. Yeah, but any problems you're having? No. I mean, you know, they go through that stage where, you know.

 

Kym Yancey [00:25:09]:

Yeah. But fortunately, as adults now, they hardly remember any of that. Talk about other things.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:25:16]:

If you remember that this is also a Couple things. Because you saw me going crazy trying to be a good mom. And I lived in a neighborhood where most of the moms are stay at home moms.

 

Kym Yancey [00:25:24]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:25:25]:

And, you know, there was the.

 

Kym Yancey [00:25:26]:

The.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:25:26]:

What was it? Bunko and scrapbooking and all. And I wanted to be part of all of that too. And I was. I was just really wearing myself out. And one day, I think it was a godwink. I think God just knew that I was just, you know, just trying so hard and feeling so defeated. Like I was good at many things, but a master of nothing.

 

Kym Yancey [00:25:47]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:25:48]:

And one day I just. Whatever. I just. It hit me and I said to Ryland, I started out with Ryland, I said, what are the most important things you want from your mom?

 

Kym Yancey [00:25:59]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:26:00]:

And what was so surprising to me is he had like two things, and I thought to myself, and one of them was, you know, he was a football player. And so he was just. I just want you in the stands Friday night.

 

Kym Yancey [00:26:13]:

Yep.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:26:13]:

Just be in the stands Friday night. This is before Uber. I mean, sometimes I didn't get back from a work trip until Friday, and I would take a cab and take directly to the game. Looks my flight was running late or something. And I mean, I would come to that game with my luggage, you know, and I would tell you to bring the cowbell.

 

Kym Yancey [00:26:30]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:26:31]:

And Rylan would be like, I hate it when you ring that cowbell. Not. You know. And so as soon as I would get in the stands, I would look for number 33 on the line and I'd. I'd see him and I'd ring that cowbell. And I. I could see my son stand up taller. He's like, she's in the house, Mom's in the house kind of thing.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:26:50]:

And he knew that I got there every now and then. I might have missed a kickoff, but. But I was there. And I'm telling you, he is now 31 years old.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:01]:

31.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:02]:

And he still has no memory that I was the co chair of the Scholastic Book Fair.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:08]:

No memory.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:09]:

And that project, that assignment was almost my undoing. I mean, it was so much work and it was so time consuming and he didn't care. So he has no memory. To your point.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:21]:

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:22]:

You know, so find if you're like, you know, you're building your business and you got little ones and you're struggling with all that, have a conversation, ask them what's important. I learned from that to ask Brianna. I did just the things that they told me was important. They would tell you it was a pretty dang good mom, that I didn't miss anything because I didn't miss the things that were important to them, you know, and all the other stuff. They don't remember.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:44]:

They don't remember.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:45]:

They have no recollection whatsoever.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:47]:

No, no, no.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:48]:

It became like. It became like a breakthrough moment for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Kym Yancey [00:27:54]:

That's good. All right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:27:55]:

Yep. So a couple of tips, I guess, for working together. And we're still figuring it out because we're still growing and shifting and changing. And the most important thing is it's important that you. You give each other enough room, I think, to grow, to find, you know, new things and to explore new things and just come back. I always feel like one of the things that we've done, and it's actually hanging. And I learned this from Hyrum Smith, who was the founder Franklin and Franklin Planning, which I was a student of in corporate America. And then whole nother story for another day.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:28:31]:

How we met him. We had a dinner party with someone who was his ghostwriter. We didn't even know it and said, oh, my gosh, you should know. You should know the guy I write books for. And that became the beginning of an amazing relationship. This guy took his business to just shy. Took it public, just to shy to a billion dollars, and then took it private. And a lot of the lessons that I learned from the years that we spent being coached and mentored by Hyrum, but I forget why I even got on this story.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:29:03]:

What was I.

 

Kym Yancey [00:29:07]:

You were rapping.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:29:08]:

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. He said, and to this day, in my office, if you walked into my office in this moment, we have these poles that are actually structural, but we had them painted like chalk so that they would be. They would have of use and not just look like a painted pole. And. But I have. This is me. And I have my life mission statement.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:29:30]:

And that's. I think ultimately what we share is a. We have a. We have a very, very similar life mission statements. Right. And, you know, someday, if you're curious, you let me know and I will read it to you. But it. But what it does is no matter how far apart we go and grow, we always come back to the fact we share a life mission statement.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:29:57]:

And that keeps us. That keeps us grounded. That and happiness. You have to work for happiness. It doesn't just happen.

 

Kym Yancey [00:30:04]:

Yeah. It's not for sissies.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:30:05]:

That's right. It's not for sissies. You choose happiness every day.

 

Kym Yancey [00:30:10]:

Yeah.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:30:10]:

And gratitude, you know, Gratitude. And I'm grateful for you, Kim.

 

Kym Yancey [00:30:15]:

Hey, that makes two of us.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:30:17]:

Okay.

 

Kym Yancey [00:30:17]:

All right.

 

Sandra Yancey [00:30:18]:

So there you go. Because you know what? If this helps you with your. With your spouse, it can make all the difference. Because what I know, Kim, is that she doesn't just mean business, she means millions.