From Exhausted to Energized: Build a Team That Uplevels With You

Kym Yancey [00:00:00]:

When we started the eWomenNetwork, we were real clear we were not doing events. Oh, I mean, I'm just saying I couldn't throw a dinner party.

Briana Dai [00:00:08]:

The goal was always to help connect women, but how you went about it, it shifted and it evolved as you watched the demand kind of shift and change. But the, but you, but the goal was still hit.

Sandra Yancey [00:00:18]:

Yes.

Kym Yancey [00:00:19]:

Right.

Briana Dai [00:00:19]:

And that's, I think, a really interesting thing is being able to discern between opportunities versus distractions.

Sandra Yancey [00:00:26]:

That's the people math that you have to do. You have to take a list of all the people that you're hanging with, the top 6 people you're hanging out with professionally and personally, and you have to ask yourself, do they inspire me or do they tire me? Are they adding and multiplying my life or are they dividing and subtracting?

Briana Dai [00:00:53]:

Woo!

Kym Yancey [00:00:53]:

Hey, where you been? Where you been? Welcome back. We've been waiting for you.

Briana Dai [00:00:59]:

Goodness gracious. You know, so many people are exhausted and it's not because you're lazy or unfocused. It's really just because you are, you know, working really hard towards goals that were never actually right for you. So I think today what we wanna talk about is what happens when you, how, just how easy it is when you chase goals that look good on paper, but they're really heavy for you in life, you know? And what changes when your goals finally match who you are in the season of life that you're in? Because I think that that's really important. So, um, you want to talk about why people get—

Kym Yancey [00:01:40]:

well, I, I had mentioned on one of our earlier podcasts about the dance teacher lesson that your mother, your mother and I experienced. I mean, I, I never forgot it, and I have talked about it before because it was so profound.

Sandra Yancey [00:01:53]:

It's over 30 years because it was right after Brianna was born.

Kym Yancey [00:01:56]:

So we went to dance classes.

Briana Dai [00:01:57]:

35 years.

Sandra Yancey [00:01:58]:

35 years. That's what I was just saying. It was, I know you're 35. I'm just saying, I know it's over 30 years. Oh my goodness gracious. Okay. No, I know you're 35. It was after she was, shortly after she was born.

Kym Yancey [00:02:10]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:02:11]:

And it was part of the thing that we wanted to do to start venturing, getting out and having a date.

Kym Yancey [00:02:16]:

Having a date night.

Sandra Yancey [00:02:17]:

Date night. And I wanted to get back in shape from having a baby.

Kym Yancey [00:02:20]:

You know, so was it a Fred Astaire studio? I'm trying to remember.

Sandra Yancey [00:02:24]:

It was like something like that.

Kym Yancey [00:02:25]:

Something like that. Yeah. So we decided we were going to go to ballroom dance class, right? And never would have thought I would have got a lesson like this. And it had nothing to do with the ballroom dancing. But what happened was we had our first day of dancing and all that. And so the teacher says, oh gosh, I really enjoyed— you guys are really, you know, giving us the compliments, you know, you guys really dance well. She says, I have a question to ask you. She says, would you both be interested in exploring, maybe get involved in some of the national dance competitions? And we looked at each other and said, national dance competitions? Oh no, no, we weren't thinking of anything like that.

Kym Yancey [00:03:04]:

She says, well, what about something statewide? Something like in the state of Ohio, because that's where we lived in Ohio. How about some of the local state competitions? And we looked at ourselves and her and we said, well, I don't know. I mean, maybe I don't know. And she says, or what you're looking to do is when you go on a cruise or you're out, you just want to be able to have some nice moves on the stage. I said, that's it. I said, I just want to know when the dip, you know what I mean? Like, you know, but I was real clear that national was not part of the plan. Statewide, hadn't even thought about it, but I don't know, maybe. But what we wanted was just the basic dance.

Kym Yancey [00:03:41]:

And I asked her, I said, I'm just curious, why did you ask us about the national competitions and all the statewide stuff? She says, oh, she says, if— because your answer would have told me that how many times you need to be in here. In other words, if you had said yes, I want to get involved with national competitions, I tell you, we're going to have 5 private lessons one every day, Monday through Friday. Then we're going to have a Saturday dance party. You know, you'd have that kind of commitment. If you're going to do statewide, you'd be in here 2 or 3 times a week and we'd do some competitive dancing once a week. But since all you want to do is have a few moves, dance, and know when to dip, you only need to come in here once for private lessons and once for the party. That's all we need to do. And I never forgot how she qualified us.

Sandra Yancey [00:04:30]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:04:30]:

The simplicity of knowing, and we were kind of clear where we wanted to go with this starting out. Who knows if we had stuck with it and just got better and better and one day we got into the national competition, but that wasn't our plan. That wasn't our plan, but it was a great lesson.

Sandra Yancey [00:04:48]:

And the lesson really is begin with the end in mind. I mean, it really does. I think the reason why people get exhausted is because they just, throw stuff on the wall and wonder, you know, look at what sticks. And they hear what other people are doing, or they, you know, read a book and said, that's me, I need to go do that, without really stopping and saying, what is it that you really want? I mean, it really is that whole conversation about what is your moonshot? What do you want to be known for? In the very end, what do you want to be known? When people say your name, you know, there's a lot of things that people can say about me, for example, Sandra. And there's a lot of things that if you ask me what I do, I could I could spend half an hour telling you all the things that I do. But when I really think about, you know, what is it that I ultimately, what's the legacy statement? What do I really wanna be known for? Is I wanna be known, I'm so clear that I wanna be known for the woman who dedicated her life, her whole career to helping women entrepreneurs break the million-dollar mark. Because I know it changes everything. It changes everything.

Sandra Yancey [00:05:51]:

And it's only 1.7%. Unfortunately do that. And so I have to ask myself when I'm setting goals, you know, are my goals in alignment with that moonshot? Yeah. Are my goals in alignment with that mic drop moment of this is what I wanna be known for? Not the 1,000 things that I wanna be known for, right? But for my career, what do I wanna be known for? You know, I wanna be known obviously for being a great wife and a great mother and all the things all the hats, all the things. But when it comes to my career, this is what I want to be known for. And then how do I reverse engineer from there? And I think the reason why women get so exhausted is because they never really declare what it is they're ultimately going after. And I think we get so caught up in the how and we get worried that, well, I don't know how to do that. I've never known how to do anything that I've accomplished in eWomen Network.

Sandra Yancey [00:06:48]:

I mean, when I started eWomen Network, I never I had a consulting practice that was based purely on my individual performance. I knew when we were going into eWomen Network, we were building a different kind of a business, right? Continuity-based business model was required, all kinds of stuff that I had no clue. But once I declared it, then what was interesting to me is that the opportunities of the things that I needed to learn became much more visible to me. I talk about the story all the time about how You know, you called me several years ago and you said, hey, I'm thinking about getting a car. I'm not a car person. I'm like, great. You know, he says, well, I just want your opinion. What do you think about that such and such a car?

Sandra Yancey [00:07:27]:

And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And he goes, yeah, you know, I mean, they're around.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:31]:

And I said, Kim, I got to tell you, I don't know that I've ever seen that car before. And he said, Sandra, they're all over the place, honestly. And I said, you know what, in Dallas, what you can do is you can often get them to loan you a car for the weekend. For a couple of days.

Kym Yancey [00:07:47]:

Yeah, just test drive for a weekend.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:48]:

Test drive for a weekend.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:49]:

And then that's their puppy dog close.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:51]:

That's their way of saying you're going to fall in love with it. And on Monday morning, we're going to close the deal kind of thing.

Kym Yancey [00:07:55]:

Now, people might end up with the puppy dog close.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:56]:

That's a whole nother story. You could tell the puppy dog story.

Kym Yancey [00:07:58]:

I'll tell the puppy dog story.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:59]:

Okay. So anyway, we call it the puppy dog close.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:02]:

Now you got it.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:03]:

How do you make the close happen? And so I said, why don't you get it? Well, you'll drive it and I'll be in the passenger. So we're done.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:13]:

Bottom line is we're done. I like the car.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:15]:

Kim likes the car. And he says Monday morning, be staying home until the dealership opens so that he can get the paperwork going and all that kind of thing.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:21]:

I said, great, I'm now driving to work.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:23]:

I'm driving to work. I hop on the tollway like I do every single day, Monday through Friday, to come here to the office. And I hop on the tollway and I'm looking around. I'm like, these cars are everywhere. Like they're everywhere in white, which is what you were getting on top of it. And I remember I called Kim and I said, hey, have you bought the car yet? And he says, no, they're going to be opening any minute now. I'm going to call them. And I said, are you sure? You want a car that everybody has.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:49]:

And the moral of the story was I never noticed it before. It wasn't. But the minute it became into my awareness that we want that car, it opened me up into all kinds of things that were always there. Those cars are probably always there going down the toll road the same direction as me every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday heading to their office, wherever that is. But I didn't see it because it wasn't something that I knew to pay attention to. And I think that's the same way with goals. Until you declare that moonshot, what you really want, there will be so many things that are already there for you right now. You just don't see it and you don't know how to take advantage of it.

Sandra Yancey [00:09:38]:

You don't know how to grab onto it because It's just another data point in your day of the millions of things that you see and you notice and don't notice, right? And when you declare that moonshot, you now see things that you normally just didn't give it any attention, right? You see it and you go, oh, that, yes, that's exactly what I need in order to make this thing happen. And suddenly the steps emerge, right? They emerge, the opportunity, they were, always there. That's the interesting thing. They're always there. You just didn't notice them because you had no reason to notice them because you hadn't made the declaration of the thing that you really want to accomplish. So I think we get exhausted because we don't reverse engineer it.

Kym Yancey [00:10:23]:

Well, you know, also thoughts on this. When we started the eWomen Network, we were real clear we were not doing events.

Sandra Yancey [00:10:31]:

Oh, I mean, I'm just saying, I couldn't throw a dinner party for 6, let alone throw a banquet.

Kym Yancey [00:10:37]:

I mean, even the network was all online. That was the concept back in 2000. It's just going to be all online. Facebook hadn't come out yet, you know what I mean?

Briana Dai [00:10:45]:

Oh yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:10:45]:

We, we, we, the only thing, we didn't have Mark Zuckerberg, but otherwise we looked like Facebook back then. Yeah. Conceptually, conceptually, conceptually, for sure. But my point is, you know, we did not want to do events. That wasn't part of our That was our goal, right? It's, we're gonna create an online platform where women could find each other and network. And no sooner did we, and it's, well, I found it interesting that we would talk to, we would share the story of eWomen with women and they would say things like, oh, I love it. No more meetings.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:15]:

No more, I don't want another meeting. Yeah, exactly.

Kym Yancey [00:11:18]:

Driving, you know, someplace we can meet online. She says, this is great. Everyone said that. Mm-hmm. Man, that's, that's where you really learn. Listen to what they say, but watch what they do.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:27]:

That's right.

Kym Yancey [00:11:28]:

You know, what they say and what they do are two entirely different things, because once they got into the network, the members drove us to do events. Yeah, because they wanted to do—

Sandra Yancey [00:11:40]:

you know what I'm saying?

Briana Dai [00:11:41]:

That's an interesting realization too, because kind of that whole concept of Dr. Dan Benjamin, uh, who has that whole book about who, not how. It's like you have to know what you're trying to achieve, you have to know where you're trying to go, but not be attached to how it happens. Because if you are so tunnel vision on this is the plan and this is like, yeah, absolutely go all tilt boogie towards tunnel vision on this is the goal that I want to achieve. But don't also close yourself off and put the blinders on to the point that you can't see other opportunities outside of what you had originally seen for yourself.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:15]:

Yes.

Briana Dai [00:12:16]:

That could set you up for something even bigger and better. You know what I mean? Sometimes what you think you want and what is actually meant for you are two different things. Things, and you have to be able and willing to be open to following that alignment, um, because you might surprise yourself, kind of like you did with events, you know. And now Human Network is a global company with chapters having events all over the world, people attending our online events.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:42]:

I mean, it's crazy, right?

Briana Dai [00:12:44]:

And that was never the goal, you know what I mean? But the goal was always to help connect women, but how you went about it, it shifted and it evolved as you watch the demand kind of shift and change. But the, but you, but the goal was still hit.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:56]:

Yes.

Briana Dai [00:12:57]:

Right. And that's, I think, a really interesting thing is being able to discern between opportunities versus distractions.

Sandra Yancey [00:13:05]:

Do you feel like you're drowning in your business? Like you're doing everything and something has to give, but you're afraid it might be you? What if I told you there's a network of over 500,000 women entrepreneurs all dedicated to supporting each other? A network of women helping women. I'm Sandra Yancy, founder of eWomen Network, and I'm inviting you to join us and become a member. eWomenNetwork.com. We can't wait to meet you.

Kym Yancey [00:13:35]:

There's also— you've got to navigate through, um, we didn't think it was going to be this hard. Yeah, I mean, it was hard when, you know, when all of a sudden, you know, technology's poured into it, right? And all the changes with that and all the things you had to learn, the setup for merchandising, the setup for processing payments. I mean, I remember when we started, we had a third party that would do all of our credit card processing 'cause we hadn't set up a merchant account yet. I mean, it's—

Sandra Yancey [00:14:03]:

Didn't know how to do it.

Kym Yancey [00:14:03]:

Yeah, didn't know how to do it.

Sandra Yancey [00:14:04]:

There was no Google in a verb sense, you know what I mean? Where you could just go look up things really fast, you know? Yeah, we were saying—

Briana Dai [00:14:11]:

There was one before, what was it called?

Kym Yancey [00:14:12]:

It was like Ask, Ask Jeeves?

Briana Dai [00:14:15]:

Yes.

Sandra Yancey [00:14:16]:

Ask Jeeves. I can't believe it.

Briana Dai [00:14:18]:

Do you remember Ask Jeeves?

Sandra Yancey [00:14:20]:

Now, if I asked him what he ate 3 days ago, he wouldn't be able to tell you.

Briana Dai [00:14:24]:

There was Ask Jeeves. What happened to Jeeves?

Sandra Yancey [00:14:29]:

What happened to Jeeves? Man.

Briana Dai [00:14:31]:

Anyway, go ahead.

Kym Yancey [00:14:33]:

No, I'm just saying, you know, is that you can have the gold. Okay. I'm just— this works. Doesn't matter from the end of time. You can have the gold. But along the way, you discover, as you were just saying, there's more to this than that. You know what I mean? And you know, it, it was something that neither one of us, I mean, there were times you feel like, I don't know that we ever felt like we wanted to walk away.

Sandra Yancey [00:14:55]:

I think we did. I did.

Kym Yancey [00:14:57]:

I couldn't, I couldn't leave you there by yourself. I know.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:02]:

But I mean, it was like, this is way harder than I thought.

Kym Yancey [00:15:05]:

It was way harder. Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:15:06]:

I think that's life. That's a business. Well, in life and business, like marriage and business, that you can't both wanna walk away at the same time.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:14]:

Or have a baby, you know what I mean? We waited 13 years because, to have you. Because we were never in alignment. When I was ready, he wasn't. When he was ready, I wasn't. And then finally, you know, we decided at Christmas, I'll never forget it. And I was pregnant in January. It's crazy.

Kym Yancey [00:15:29]:

Yeah, crazy.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:30]:

And the January 1st, yeah, I know. I was like, wow.

Briana Dai [00:15:33]:

If only it was that easy for all women.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:35]:

I know, that's another story. Believe me.

Kym Yancey [00:15:39]:

But I do believe, remember when you interviewed Mark Cuban we asked, you asked him specifically, you know, what is it about entrepreneurs, men or women, you know, why most of them don't make it overwhelmingly, like 97, 98%.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:55]:

And I remember him just like, I mean, just rolled off his tongue without thinking. I mean, like he just knew. And he said, most people just don't want to do the work.

Kym Yancey [00:16:03]:

Yeah. Just don't want to work that hard. Don't want to do the work.

Sandra Yancey [00:16:06]:

It's what everybody, I mean, like everybody wants what you have once you've had it, but nobody really wants to do what you had to do to get there. But you know, but the other, The thing is, and that's why we have to support each other. I mean, there's nothing like having a support system on those days you'd rather not that say, you know, you gotta do this.

Kym Yancey [00:16:23]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:16:23]:

Well, it's really easy to blow off.

Kym Yancey [00:16:25]:

It applies to everything. I, but I, you know, because of my music background, I, I reflect on music a lot and I think about all the guys that I knew that were like unbelievable musicians who never got a break.

Briana Dai [00:16:36]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:16:36]:

Now you might think, yeah, but they had the talent that should have been enough to get a break. Hey, look, what do you mean that should have been enough? You've gotta network.

Sandra Yancey [00:16:42]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:16:42]:

I mean, David Foster, one of the most prolific producer-songwriters, in the world, all the hits that he did with Peter Cetera and Earth, Wind Fire and all that kind of stuff. David Foster was in Ken Creighton's class at UCLA on music, the business of music, and he got up and said, one of the most important things you're going to do in music is network. Because if you don't have relationships with people, it's going to be difficult to go somewhere.

Sandra Yancey [00:17:10]:

No one makes it alone, right?

Kym Yancey [00:17:12]:

It is. No one makes it alone.

Briana Dai [00:17:14]:

And no one really wants to work. It's so fascinating. Like, I, and I used to think it was just a millennial and Gen Z issue, but actually it's not because I'm shocked by clients who will invest a lot of money in these high-ticket programs and then not do anything. Like, how can you throw that kind of— it's almost like a subconscious, like, okay, I'm working on my business. Yeah, so it's gonna work because I spent the money, but you don't actually do the work. To get your return on your investment. And it floors me how often I see it, actually more often than not, unfortunately. And it is a phenomenon, I think, with— do you— people want abundance, they want success, they have these big goals, they want to make this big impact, but you have to be willing to back it up.

Briana Dai [00:18:10]:

And I think that we're in this era— there was this whole, you know, like, life balance, you know, revolution, and it's almost like we went too heavy on the life balance that we forgot that we have to run a business too. And there is a tug and a pull, and there are seasons that require you to sprint and, and be out of balance too, by the way.

Sandra Yancey [00:18:29]:

Balance.

Briana Dai [00:18:30]:

And be out of balance. There are sprint seasons, and then you have moments where you can take a little arrest. And then you have your rest seasons and your recovery seasons, and you have to— you have to have that tug in your pool. But if you really want to achieve greatness, you have to be willing to sprint longer than most people are.

Kym Yancey [00:18:49]:

Yeah, yeah. You know, they were talking about one of the things— and research has proven this out— that one of the things that affects people more than anything, more than diet, money, you know, is being alone, being isolated, not engaging with people. And for entrepreneurs and business people, it's about, you know, engaging in— I call it networking with people to stimulate your thinking. Because like, even right now, you know, someone may hear what we're talking about right now, and it might— that might be enough to spark something, that they're hearing the same thing they've heard earlier, but only they're hearing it different. Right now at this moment. You know, it's really, you know, as, you know, I just had a birthday and I remember, you've always heard me, I've shared with this, that don't ever use the retire word with me. You know, retire, that's not part of my vocabulary. You know what I mean?

Sandra Yancey [00:19:43]:

Because there's research that goes with that.

Kym Yancey [00:19:45]:

Yeah, there is research that goes with that.

Sandra Yancey [00:19:46]:

Documented medical research. But when you start, when you start talking about retiring, often, Often what comes with that is this overwhelming sense of lack of purpose. Lack of purpose has a physical impact on you.

Kym Yancey [00:20:00]:

Or I'm not relevant. I'm not relevant anymore. You know what I mean? You meet someone, oh, I'm retired. I'm not in that. No, we evolve as people. But I think right now is one of the most unbelievable moments in time for all of us. I mean, AI is— ushering in a whole new set of skills. And, you know, like you said, you love it, I love it, we all love AI.

Kym Yancey [00:20:29]:

But I also have people that are, you know, friends of mine that are like, oh man, I don't, you know, I don't trust that AI stuff. And I don't— well, you know, I don't trust the internet, I don't trust, you know, I don't trust— I mean, there's a lot, yeah, to not trust with what's going on, but there's a lot to trust too. And there's a lot to plug into.

Sandra Yancey [00:20:48]:

Well, it's throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Kym Yancey [00:20:50]:

Yeah, right.

Sandra Yancey [00:20:50]:

People that, you know, the whole absolute kind of attitude of, you know, not leaning in. You know, I actually don't know a lot of those people because I just, I find myself not spending too much time there. Yeah. I move. I just find myself moving. I love being around other people who are excited about the opportunities that are in front of us. And those are the people that I, I want to spend time with. Those are the people that I want on my team.

Sandra Yancey [00:21:18]:

Those are the people that, you know, I love socializing with because we're excited about the opportunities that are ahead of us. And I do think you have to look at, take inventory of the people who inspire you and the people who tire you. And I, you know, it's not that I don't have a bad instance. I don't have a, you know, something that's disappointing. Something that feels, you know, that I've seen that sabotaging, whatever it might be, and I don't have a reaction. I just don't stay there long. I move on and I regroup. And I think that's the people math that you have to do.

Sandra Yancey [00:21:54]:

You have to take a list of all the people that you're hanging with, the top 6 people you're hanging out with professionally and personally. And you have to ask yourself, do they inspire me or do they tire me? Are they adding and multiplying my life or are they dividing and attracting. And we're forced with our new coaching program that we're in, they're really forcing us to look at the people that we hang around with personally and professionally and challenging us. How can you say you have 10x thinking and not make sure that everybody that's around you is in alignment with that? Because you can't have people, you can't have one person that is in alignment with it. It's not that they're bad people, it's not that they're wrong people, but they're just not on your locomotive.

Briana Dai [00:22:36]:

And that's a hard truth, I think, for most women to come to terms with because there are going to be people who you're going to have to remove from your circle or remove from your team as you grow. You know, you've often talked about it, but it's another— it's one thing to talk about in a metaphorical sense. It's another thing to truly do it. But yeah, relationships really are, you know, you do have some people who are meant to go with you the whole way, but kind of like when you're shooting for that moon and you're on that rocket ship, to get the rocket ship up in the air, it has those boosters on it. You talk about this a lot. It has boosters. And then to get the rest of the way, some of those boosters have to break off. They're not meant to go the whole way.

Briana Dai [00:23:14]:

And there are some people in your life who are boosters, and they are hanging on too long, and they're going to hold you back.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:19]:

Or you're hanging on to them too long. It's not their fault necessarily. It's your fault. It's your fault. You're trying to make them be something they don't want to be. I mean, you have to let people define what it is that they— how they want to live their life. Your responsibility is to say, are we in alignment? And sometimes we can go so far and then we have to have just this agreement that we need to go in different directions. That doesn't make you wrong and it certainly doesn't make them wrong.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:46]:

It's just time to go different paths.

Briana Dai [00:23:49]:

And I wish it was that clean always.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:51]:

I know.

Briana Dai [00:23:52]:

But sometimes it's not. More often than not, that division is hard. And sometimes it is as easy as just just not being available for the coffees or not being available for the meetings anymore. Sometimes it's just easy enough to just kind of like let the natural distance start to happen between you, but sometimes they don't let that happen. And there is an unfortunate kind of like, well, we need to change this dynamic, um, because I'm not going to tolerate this kind of energy around me in this stage of my life. Or if it's somebody in your business that you just really need to let go of.

Sandra Yancey [00:24:23]:

I think the one thing that I've learned this year in December, what I've learned in the last month is, are you surrounded with people who are upleveling beyond what you ask them to do and what's even written down? I mean, that was the one thing that he was saying, like, you need to be looking for people that are saying, hey, I saw this and I just took care of it. Hey, I just, you know what I mean? And now you know you've got people that are thinking ahead. And thinking beyond the written goals, thinking beyond just my to-do list, my check boxes, really, they're taking responsibility for their own elevation. And then when you see that happening, are you acknowledging it? Are you rewarding it? What are the things that you can do to let people go, yeah, I love that you're doing that, and I'm noticing it. The rewards could be having them attend your AI Edge thing or taking them on a business trip or, you know, a bonus, right? Or, or investing in, you know, the next skill. You know what I mean? That they say, I love it when someone comes to me and says, and it's happened, hey, I know that some people have an Adobe license here and I don't have it and I've always wanted to learn it. Sandra, if you would, you know, get me an Adobe license, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll learn it on my own. I'll take some YouTube classes or whatever, and I'll start doing these 3 things that you normally farm out to somebody else and pay for.

Briana Dai [00:26:02]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:26:04]:

And I'm like, all day long, girlfriend. Boom. Make it happen. You know? And then when she started doing it, then I was looking for ways to support her and help her personal things, too, when she needed to take care of some personal things that came up. It's just so exciting. I mean, it wasn't part of her job, but she said, I want to learn this.

Sandra Yancey [00:26:27]:

I want to do this.

Sandra Yancey [00:26:27]:

That's what an A player is.

Briana Dai [00:26:28]:

And I want to be surrounded by A players this year, for sure.

Sandra Yancey [00:26:31]:

You can't 10x. We don't have a choice. We really do not have a choice. You can't, as he said, you can't 10x with anything but A and A+ players. It's a different elevation. It's not, are you exceeding all that you were hired for or that we— it's not just meeting. Because the thing is, you look at kind of exceeds all, exceeds most, meets all, meets most, does not meet. We think of the thinking that I'm on is this exceeds the meets all is a C player that you're passing.

Sandra Yancey [00:27:11]:

You're passing. When you meet everything that we have allocated to outsource to you, I'm thinking of people that you outsource as well. When you meet that, you're a C player. Most people say, I'm meeting it, I'm an A player. That's not an A player. That's a, you've met it, you're passing. Now, if you wanna go, Bigger, you have to say, how are you exceeding? How are you beginning to exceed that? Exceed most of it exceeds all of it. The exceeds most becomes a B player.

Sandra Yancey [00:27:42]:

The exceeds all is an A player. And the question really, and then I have to look at myself.

Kym Yancey [00:27:47]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:27:48]:

Like, am I doing that? Am I exceeding all of what's expected of me right now?

Briana Dai [00:27:54]:

And that's a hard mirror to hold up.

Sandra Yancey [00:27:55]:

That is.

Briana Dai [00:27:55]:

You are your own boss and you really have to say, am I, meeting my standards? Because you're the leader and you're setting the tone for the rest of the team. So if you're not showing up as the A+ player, it's hard to expect other people to show up as that A+ player. And having that self-management skill is a hard one to develop.

Sandra Yancey [00:28:12]:

And the version of Sandra that ended with December 31st is not the version of Sandra required in 2027.

Briana Dai [00:28:23]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:28:24]:

In 2026, in the new year. Yeah. And so what does that mean? I don't have the luxury of just learning on the job. I got to put in extra stuff to really be that 10x leader. I don't know how to be a 10x leader, so I'm learning it. And I've got so much to deliver here, I can't always do it while I'm here. But 10xing comes with really great rewards.

Kym Yancey [00:28:53]:

Yeah, yeah. And you know, it's really fascinating, this discussion, because I remember when I was putting together the trip for our Pinnacle members to go to Africa.

Sandra Yancey [00:29:01]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:29:02]:

And I was sourcing and, and, and talking to people on our team, and, you know, people that we work with, contractors that we work with that help us with other events and things like that. And, um, set me up with a lead to speak to one person, who then set me up with someone else, and Follow the relationship trail here.

Sandra Yancey [00:29:20]:

This is very powerful.

Kym Yancey [00:29:21]:

And I was just noticing what their enthusiasm was or wasn't, how engaging they were, you know, it was, you know, because they were in different parts of the world, really. But I remember the day that I decided, you know, this one person I've been talking to, she just, in this particular case, she just didn't have the enthusiasm, the level of excitement excitement around what we were trying to do. You can do this.

Sandra Yancey [00:29:49]:

Yeah, you can do this on this day.

Kym Yancey [00:29:50]:

You can go here. But it was like, as opposed, compared to the woman that I ended up bringing on board, who not only was unbelievable and put together an incredible program, but also did a lot of things that I didn't expect. Yeah. You know, things that, you know, oh my gosh, you're going to be here, you know, and, and going with us. And she would go ahead of the whole group, you know. She just did a lot of things that really surprised me and got us into places that the other person couldn't. The other person had said Oh, they're sold out. We can't get you in there.

Kym Yancey [00:30:20]:

This person was able to say, no, I got you in there.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:22]:

Like almost 30 people, not just 2 of us. It was crazy. But it was just, you know, or we were all worried about the luggage amount, the weight of our luggage after we left Cape Town and flew to the safari. They had a weight limit. And she's like, she showed up and they put all of our luggage in the van. She says, I'll see you at the airport. We were at the airport thinking we're gonna have to get our luggage and go through all the things. She comes to me, she meets us at the airport.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:48]:

She goes, done, done.

Kym Yancey [00:30:50]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:50]:

Mm-hmm. Remember? I mean, just this, it was a huge deal. Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:30:55]:

But for, you know, but all of us, I mean, listen, energy, human energy, enthusiasm, excitement changes everything.

Sandra Yancey [00:31:04]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:31:05]:

You know, on top of, you know, performing, but then what's your attitude like? You know what I mean? Your approach, because that's part of the experience. Wasn't that a good—

Sandra Yancey [00:31:15]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:31:16]:

You think about that whole African trip.

Sandra Yancey [00:31:18]:

I mean, I want to take Kristen everywhere.

Kym Yancey [00:31:20]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:31:20]:

You want to bottle her up. I only do Africa. I'm like, no, because she was just— I crave her. And she's now the standard.

Kym Yancey [00:31:29]:

Yes.

Sandra Yancey [00:31:30]:

We now measure everything against her to the point that I'm like, I want to go back to Africa.

Kym Yancey [00:31:35]:

Yeah, but, you know, really, I had 3 people to choose from and ended up going with her.

Sandra Yancey [00:31:41]:

They all had the qualifications.

Kym Yancey [00:31:43]:

They all had the qualifications, but she brought an energy, uh, you know, a vitality. Yeah, that the others didn't. It made me feel good, and I, and I felt like this. I felt like I want what she's making, what she's bringing to us. I wanted to bring that to all of our guests.

Sandra Yancey [00:32:00]:

So here's the— here's— can we bring it back?

Kym Yancey [00:32:02]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:32:03]:

So So the whole thing was, why are you exhausted? Do you feel like you're dragging the people around you to come with you, or do you feel like they're like the wind beneath your wings? Yeah, right. I mean, I think we get exhausted because we just feel like we're constantly pulling people along, rallying, right? Are you surrounded with people that aren't happy for the goals that you've set? Are you noticing that when you have a win, they're not necessarily applauding? Like, okay, you know what I mean? Or I mean, are you surrounding yourself with the people that not only have the direction and the advice and want to elevate and make themselves better to make the goals better and all of that, or are you feeling like you're just really pulling along weight that really isn't elevating, that's sort of slowing your locomotive down? You want everybody leaning forward. You want everybody excited. And the thing is, your job isn't to change people. That's the big aha for me, because sometimes I want it more for other people than they want it for themselves. The reality is you got to get in touch, Sandra, with noticing what's happening, having a conversation, right? And then getting really real with— do you feel like you're pulling people? Yeah. And if you are, those are the people to release. Yeah, they're not bad people.

Sandra Yancey [00:33:28]:

That's what the most important message— they're not wrong, they're not bad, they're just not right for you.

Briana Dai [00:33:34]:

Yes, preach, preach, right?

Sandra Yancey [00:33:37]:

So let them go be right for somebody else whose goals were better alignment, because it's just really about— it's an alignment conversation, right? Is, is— it's— and, and for me, it's been, it's been very— I've done a lot of journaling, meditating, thinking all about this in the last, you know, 30 days. Yeah. And so if you're feeling lonely, if you're feeling exhausted, if you're feeling like nobody's happy for you, you know, then you need a new group. You know?

Kym Yancey [00:34:11]:

You know, when we, with our Celebrity Science Sessions, when people come in for the day and we put up on the board, we use this Disney technique where we put up on the board, you know, what's going right in your business? And that's very revealing. And while you're listening to this, this is something you can apply for yourself right now. But you know, you can use a Post-it note on a piece of paper. But the header or the title would be, you know, what do I love about my business? Or what part of my business do I love? And then list all the things that you love about it. What parts of my business drain me or I can't stand? And that list is very important. That part of your business that you can't stand, that you got to look at and say, listen, I can't stand that. Well, would you want to hire someone who can't stand that part of your business working for you? I mean, the point of the matter is there are people who would love to do that part that you can't stand to do. And you've got to replace that part of your business or your activity with someone who loves it.

Sandra Yancey [00:35:11]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:35:11]:

You know what I mean? So you can focus on the things that only you can do. Yeah, as you always say.

Sandra Yancey [00:35:16]:

I was talking to a woman not too long ago, just to kind of, you know, I think put a nice bow on this. And, you know, she's been dating a guy for a really long time who, you know, she loves him and she wants to marry him. But, you know, it's been years, 7, 8 years, and he still hasn't proposed. And, you know, what I realized that I needed to tell her was You know, at some point you're going to have to make this decision because what is his, I'm not sure, what is his, I'm second-guessing, somebody else is saying, you're the very person I've been looking for my whole life. Right? And I think it's true in business. There are people who are looking to work with you who will say, I've been looking for this my whole life. Those are the people. Yeah, those are the people.

Briana Dai [00:36:09]:

So if you're listening to this and you feel seen, I would urge you to share this episode with somebody that you know needs to hear it too. Subscribe to the next one. This is a really deep, really meaningful conversation. And what I think you need to know is she doesn't just mean business.

Kym Yancey [00:36:32]:

She means millions.