Balancing Family and Business: Lessons on Boundaries, Burnout, and Succession with the Yancey Family

Briana Dai [00:00:00]:

I'll go to Dad to talk about, and then I'll come to you, or vice versa. You know what I mean?

Sandra Yancey [00:00:03]:

Interesting.

Briana Dai [00:00:04]:

Yeah, it is. And I don't think it's a conscious thing. It's just like I just know who to talk to about what, right?

Kym Yancey [00:00:10]:

I'll never forget, uh, we were at the Intercontinental Hotel in Dallas on the Dallas Parkway, if you're familiar with Dallas, and across the street is an In-N-Out Burger.

Briana Dai [00:00:18]:

And Mom is gonna just flip out.

Sandra Yancey [00:00:22]:

What?

Briana Dai [00:00:24]:

I was like, I am so over y'all. I am so over y'all. I'm leaving. And you started walking home. Welcome back to She Means Millions. So what do we want to talk about today?

Kym Yancey [00:00:52]:

I mean, that is not the kind of opening we want. My goodness. What do we have on our sheet?

Sandra Yancey [00:01:03]:

Who's directing this?

Kym Yancey [00:01:05]:

Brianna is.

Briana Dai [00:01:06]:

Okay. I didn't know that I was like the facilitator. I thought I was just with you.

Kym Yancey [00:01:10]:

I'm just— we, we, um, both decided that you'd be the facilitator.

Briana Dai [00:01:15]:

Oh, okay, okay.

Kym Yancey [00:01:17]:

It was a vote.

Sandra Yancey [00:01:19]:

Between the two of you?

Kym Yancey [00:01:20]:

Unanimous?

Briana Dai [00:01:21]:

No, it was a facilitation that wasn't communicated, so it was an expectation that wasn't communicated. Okay, hence the topic of today's show.

Sandra Yancey [00:01:33]:

So if this is actually being filmed right now, then welcome to my world. That's all I want to say.

Kym Yancey [00:01:41]:

I don't know that we need that. We need our sheet.

Briana Dai [00:01:44]:

No, no, I think that we're good.

Kym Yancey [00:01:45]:

Oh, you do?

Briana Dai [00:01:46]:

Yeah, I think that we're good. That— I mean, what we, what we wanted to talk about today was balancing family and business and boundaries and all of that. And so I think that this is the perfect segue into the topic of today.

Kym Yancey [00:02:00]:

Yeah, yeah, you know, we get it. We can give them the quick answer, tell them it's impossible.

Briana Dai [00:02:04]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:02:07]:

Oh my goodness.

Kym Yancey [00:02:08]:

You know, it's funny, you're never balanced, right? I mean, really, like, where you kind of balance the thing, it always tips one way or the other, right? A little bit, you know, something is out of out of balance, it doesn't mean that it's not good. No, you know, sometimes it needs to.

Sandra Yancey [00:02:25]:

Yeah, I mean, I, I think of it a little bit like a teeter-totter. Remember those? Yeah, you know, I mean, you got— you pour energy into one, and then you notice when it's getting to be uncomfortable, and you bring it back into center. You know, the only time I'm going to be still is probably when I'm dead, right?

Kym Yancey [00:02:43]:

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, think about the times and the things that have us out of balance. You know, I mean, the conference, you know, anytime we have a major event, it gets out of balance. I mean, you got to throw everything else out because you're focusing so much on that. It's a balance word is something else. I mean, I, I know when we did the Glow Project, Sandra, years ago, and, and for those that might not know, we had a— did a movie called The Glow Project And it was right around the time The Secret came out. Like, The Secret was the influencer for the Glow Project. It kind of showed us, gave us a lens into what was missing in the marketplace.

Kym Yancey [00:03:22]:

And that was to— and it was a statement that you used to make all the time when you were on tour. You constantly said, you know, that women need to live their glow. And everybody understood what that meant in terms of, you know, finding that space in you where you could glow. I know it inspired me big time. But that movie was all-consuming. And I know for me, it took me way out of balance.

Sandra Yancey [00:03:51]:

But I also feel like when you look at the things that become a part of your rhythm for running your business, you know when there are months like July, I now know not to overbook myself on a whole bunch of other stuff. You know, I literally look at what I take off my calendar because I know I'm going to replace those hours with conference prep.

Kym Yancey [00:04:21]:

Yeah, right.

Sandra Yancey [00:04:21]:

And I think knowing how to understand the cycles, you know, of your business, the busy months, the busy time periods, so that you can take things off that, you know, really are not as relevant. And you can even replace those hours maybe with even a massage or a mani-pedi or some kind of self-care thing just to kind of make sure that you are, you know, understanding that just like working out, your rest day is part of the workout, right? That is part of the workout regime is your rest days. And I think that's true for business as well. It's a little bit trickier with you when you've got little ones.

Briana Dai [00:05:02]:

Yeah, what is a rest day? I haven't had one of those in a minute. No, I think that different seasons call for different versions of you. And as long as you can be intentional, for me at least, I have to be really intentional about knowing, okay, so this month, this is gonna be a really busy season. So I'm gonna have to be intentional about scheduling a slow season for me to recover from that. That way you don't go into burnout. Because I can get really— I find that I will work myself to burnout, and then it's not fun for anyone, and you're not operating at the highest level. Like, you can't do your best work when you're burnt out and you're just pushing through, you know? Um, but even like our work styles, I don't know, I find like I've watched you during conference season, like conference week especially.

Sandra Yancey [00:05:50]:

Who?

Briana Dai [00:05:50]:

You.

Sandra Yancey [00:05:51]:

Me? Okay.

Briana Dai [00:05:51]:

And you are able to like really operate off of like a couple of hours of sleep.

Sandra Yancey [00:05:57]:

It's true. And you— Adrenaline? You call that adrenaline?

Briana Dai [00:05:59]:

I think it's an adrenaline thing, but I don't think most people have that level of adrenaline. Like, I do not. I hit a point where I'm like, I will not be able to string a sentence together tomorrow if I do not go to sleep right now. Like, I need to get my sleep. I need to have at least 5 to 5 and a half to be.

Sandra Yancey [00:06:21]:

A functional human being. I wouldn't know what that is during conference week.

Briana Dai [00:06:25]:

Yeah, and I don't know if that's a generational thing or if that's just strictly a Sandra Yancey thing. But like, to me, there's also balance within those busy seasons, too.

Sandra Yancey [00:06:37]:

Yes, yeah. But I come out of that. I mean, I come out of conference in a real kind of stop mode. I mean, the day we get back, I have a foot massage. I mean, the day we come back home, I have a foot massage scheduled that morning. I have a whole full body massage scheduled that late afternoon. You know, we typically go to the gym. Go do a wonderful casual, no makeup, put on a baseball cap, but a yummy dinner somewhere.

Kym Yancey [00:07:05]:

Like In-N-Out Burger.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:06]:

In-N-Out, or actually our Shabu-Shabu is really what I think of, you know, where I, I, you know, I don't have to worry about being seen by anybody, and I just, you know, makeup-free day. And, you know, uh, yeah, I mean, I, I really move into a whole nother rhythm the minute it's over.

Briana Dai [00:07:24]:

Man, and that sounds real nice. Now that I have Tati, it's like, yeah, I can't go and be like, okay, I've been— Mommy's been gone all week, let me go and get my massage. You know what I mean? Like, I gotta spend time with her. But it is like, for me, it's like— I think Lindsay, uh, Marie, uh, coined this term, her and Lori Harder, and I couldn't identify with it more. That is, I turn into a bridge troll. Like, I need a bridge troll day where I can just look like a troll and just rot on the couch, you know? And like, all the screen time, Tati, all the screen time. The Sunday after conference, we're gonna watch watch all the movies, and we're just gonna rot on this couch and not go anywhere.

Sandra Yancey [00:07:59]:

I'm going— you know, I remember when you were little, and you didn't know this, but at least here in Dallas, you know, we have a lot of foot massage places that are open till midnight. And we would put you down, and Kim would be— and I would leave, and I would go get my massage in the evening when you were asleep. Yeah, but I still found little ways to fit things in. I do think it's really important to not spend all of your— when you've got little ones, you can't then put them to bed and then be working every night. You just can't do that. That is not healthy. You know, you've got to have that time where, you know, you're just cuddling on the couch with your spouse, you know, or, you know, just having some conversation where you're just together, you know, even if you're not doing something together, you know. You're just— and I like watching you and Travis sometimes at— 'cause I get to spend the night at your house every Thursday night.

Sandra Yancey [00:08:56]:

Night typically, you know, to, um, you know, cook dinner, give you guys a break from that. It's joy for me, you know, and help put the babies to bed. And if I'm lucky, I get to do both of them. And I, I— that's joyful for me, and it gives you guys a break. But I remember coming down the steps one time and looking at the two of you, and you were both— you've got these— this really long couch, right? And he was— his back was on one end and your back was on the other end, but you had your feet almost like touching. And with one blanket over it. It was so precious. I was so glad you guys were doing that.

Sandra Yancey [00:09:29]:

Yeah, you know, and by the time I'd gotten Tatiana down, I was wiped out anyway, so I was ready to get ready for bed and come into my room and call you. And we had our little nice evening chat before we said good night too.

Kym Yancey [00:09:42]:

Yeah, I, I think it's real important, um, for us but to recognize our, our balanced needs. I mean For example, I mean, and I've always been like this, I know when I had the advertising agency and, you know, it was a hurry, you know, creative people have a different way of approaching assignments because, you know, they're creating, creating, creating even up until the day of and say, you know what, and this has happened to me on many occasions where I thought I was ready with my message or my talk and I mean the day before I changed everything, you know, I thought I had it all worked out but something didn't feel right. I think you've gone through that before too, where you think, oh, some— you know, what, what felt really clear to me, you know, a week ago doesn't feel that way now, you know. And I want to make some shifts and make some changes. And I think, you know, it's the kind of thing that, one, if we don't recognize— it's important for us to recognize our style differences. Like, you know, I've been around— I mean, obviously with the stuff we've been doing for over 25 years with eWomenNetwork, I've seen you where you're like really frustrated, you know, trying to get something. What I've learned is I just got to give you your space.

Sandra Yancey [00:10:51]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:10:52]:

Because you'll figure it out, right? You, no matter, you know, what anxiety or frustration you might be feeling, you end up finding your groove, finding your grit, finding the thing, and, and you go. And I know the same thing, unless.

Briana Dai [00:11:05]:

It'S technology that she's not going to figure out.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:08]:

Wait a minute here, I'm doing better.

Briana Dai [00:11:10]:

You are doing better.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:11]:

Did you see me this week?

Briana Dai [00:11:13]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:13]:

I mean, I was like in a PowerPoint, out of a PowerPoint, showing a website, coming out of that, popping back into the PowerPoint, right on the slide that I left. And I was feeling, you know, I.

Briana Dai [00:11:21]:

Was feeling— You're doing better. Not without anxiety, though. And sometimes it is not space that you need. Sometimes it's like, just watch me.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:30]:

Exactly.

Briana Dai [00:11:30]:

Help me.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:31]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:11:32]:

Well, but here's— let me make a point. It's real easy to misinterpret your partner, you know, you, you know, what they need.

Briana Dai [00:11:43]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:11:44]:

And you can find yourself getting in a slapback. When I say slapback, you know, I'm talking, you know, I'm not talking about hitting somebody. I'm talking about where you're like, snapback, a snapback. Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:11:55]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:55]:

And so there you go.

Kym Yancey [00:11:57]:

I said slap, slapback.

Sandra Yancey [00:11:58]:

She said snapback.

Kym Yancey [00:11:59]:

It's a snapback.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:00]:

It's okay. It was all figurative, even though you.

Kym Yancey [00:12:03]:

Might feel like slapping.

Briana Dai [00:12:04]:

Yeah. It is very important that you do not follow through with that urge.

Kym Yancey [00:12:11]:

My point is, is that it's really easy to go there with the other person's frustration and you mirror it back, you know, because you're frustrated too that they're frustrated with you, you know, because that balance isn't being, you know, oh.

Briana Dai [00:12:24]:

I'll up you one.

Kym Yancey [00:12:25]:

Yeah, yeah. And the biggest aha for me is bring it back, you know, come, you know, the other person is venting, the other person is expressing, they've got their own anxiety and frustration, what they're going through. But I don't have to match that. I can be a calming force and just listen and don't say, you know, come on, get with it.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:47]:

Yeah, yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:12:48]:

You know, we got in this thing. Why are you griping now? You know, it's easy to slap, snap back.

Sandra Yancey [00:12:54]:

Yeah, yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:12:55]:

With something that could be hurtful, right?

Sandra Yancey [00:12:57]:

Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:12:57]:

You're an Aquarius, right? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're very go with the flow. You know, you're— and Travis is an Aquarian. So it's interesting that I married an Aquarian. Um, I'm a little bit of a— I dabble in astrology, okay? But it is, it's fascinating how you do very much stick to the— well.

Kym Yancey [00:13:17]:

I will say, I, the times I've been around people who really keep it, keep their calm, keep their cool, so to speak, I've always admired that, that skill, because it's, it's a skill. Yeah, it's a choice. I didn't grow up that way. I, you know, I, I, I grew up with a lot of yelling in the house. Yelling from upstairs, you know, come on down here, you know, whatever it might be, you know what I mean? Yeah, you know, how much orange juice did you put in that glass?

Sandra Yancey [00:13:44]:

That scarred you. He talks about that juice glass a lot.

Kym Yancey [00:13:49]:

I will never forget when I moved out of my apartment. I moved out my apartment, the first thing I did is I bought a full thing of orange juice. I bought a full thing of bacon. I fried almost all the bacon. Orange juice, poured myself the biggest glass, and I remember sipping it and saying to my dad, who I love dearly, I remember saying to him, "Hey, Dad, I got a full glass of orange juice here.".

Sandra Yancey [00:14:09]:

Yeah, but he wasn't there, right?

Kym Yancey [00:14:10]:

No, he wasn't there.

Sandra Yancey [00:14:16]:

Do you feel like you're drowning in your business? Like you're doing everything and something has to give, but you're afraid it might be you? What if I told you there's a network of over 500,000 women entrepreneurs all dedicated to supporting each other? A network of women helping women. I'm Sandra Yancy, founder of eWomenNetwork, and I'm inviting you to join us and become a member. eWomenNetwork.com. We can't wait to meet you.

Kym Yancey [00:14:49]:

The point of the matter is, you know, you're exposed to this and next thing you know, you know— My mic is falling.

Sandra Yancey [00:14:56]:

Speaking of technology issues, my mic won't stay up. Here we go. There we go. Yeah, it won't. It needs— yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Kym Yancey [00:15:05]:

That's that big, that big knob. Yeah, that's the one. Everybody just keep in your zone.

Briana Dai [00:15:09]:

Yeah, keep talking. We're still rolling. Keep rolling.

Sandra Yancey [00:15:12]:

Yeah, yeah, it's just I'm watching it fall as we go.

Kym Yancey [00:15:17]:

Yeah, okay. So the point, the point, the point of the matter is, is that, you know, I find for myself personally that, especially working in a women's company, understanding is that space has to be allowed, you know what I'm saying?

Briana Dai [00:15:34]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:15:35]:

And, uh, I'm not going to be the one to solve it, and that's not really what you're asking for. You're not really saying to me, hey, I need you to solve this for me, you know what I mean? You're just expressing you're out of, out of balanceness at the moment, and I need to step back and just you know, be an assistant or help if I can, if you want me to, if you invite me in to solve something. Or just leave the area.

Briana Dai [00:16:03]:

Just leave the area, evacuate the fire. Yeah, no, it's interesting. Yeah, there's like the balance of balancing work and life, but then the balance of working with family and understanding how we navigate the stressful seasons and how we support each other through those stressful seasons, it's like, I find that I might be, we could all, or I guess I'll use this example. There might be a time when we're both kind of freaking out, but only one of us will act freaked out at a time.

Sandra Yancey [00:16:34]:

It's true.

Briana Dai [00:16:35]:

You know, like somebody clicks into, okay, here's what we're gonna do. You know, even if on the inside, we're both freaking out. And I don't know, like what that is.

Sandra Yancey [00:16:46]:

It's intuitive. I've watched the same thing. Yeah, I've noticed the exact same thing. Like, there's always someone who comes and says, we, you know, this situation needs a hero and I'm going to be that person. You know what I'm saying? But, or you're going to be that one.

Briana Dai [00:17:01]:

Somebody says unspoken energetic, like this person needs it more, right?

Kym Yancey [00:17:06]:

Right.

Sandra Yancey [00:17:06]:

I know. Yeah, it's true. I've seen it happen. I've seen it ebb and flow amongst all of us. And learning how to just kind of, I think, tolerate styles. You're much more last minute. And I have to learn not to get anxious for him, you know. And I'm much more of a planner.

Sandra Yancey [00:17:24]:

Yeah, you know, like, it's just— I, I have to have things thought out way in advance. And, and sometimes when I'm watching that he's not— like, I'm in it way in advance, you know, in June I'm in it, and, and he's not in it, and it's middle of July and he's still not in it, I start to get anxious for him. And I have to do my own check, because that's where you are you're most brilliant. What I know is that you are in it. You're percolating, you're thinking, you're contemplating, and then you have it all planned out to execute in a much more compressed period of time than me. I need, I need longer for that.

Kym Yancey [00:18:02]:

I, I, uh, honestly, I marvel at your discipline in that, and it's something that I've always wanted to course correct in myself. But I realized, but I've come to realize that I perform best, as you said, I, I get my best work is in, in those squeeze moments, so to speak. Yeah, where my, my back is kind of up against the wall. Oh my gosh, I got to have this ready in 2 days, or whatever the case may be. But I just find that I'm able to generate my best work. Yeah, you know, it's just, it's kind.

Sandra Yancey [00:18:29]:

Of like, it's just hard for the planners that are around you.

Kym Yancey [00:18:31]:

Oh no, I get it, I get it. It's, it's— and don't you think, I think too, you know, you know, with our own staff, when when you are a planner and you're working with a creative person, it is understanding that bridge because, you know, and I've seen this with all kinds of creative people. I mean, I work, you know, with graphic designers, editors, everything, you know. Man, their brilliance so often just comes the tighter it is and magic starts to happen. And you've got— it's important to recognize that as well. If you're a planner it's still important that you also recognize the other people who deliver, and they're not planners like that.

Sandra Yancey [00:19:11]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:19:11]:

You know, it isn't because they're trying to give you a hard time or create grief in your life, right? You know, they would like to be able to do it, you know, in a planful, mindful way, right? But, um, you know, sometimes it's just, just how we're built.

Briana Dai [00:19:24]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:19:25]:

What I've, what I've, what I have observed in people and working with them.

Briana Dai [00:19:28]:

And myself, it's been interesting because when I first came into eWomenNetwork, I definitely fancied myself more as that creative type that kind of favored your style, very last minute. And I still do really good work under pressure for sure, but I've definitely over the years started to lean a little bit more towards planning. And it's a very— I find that I'm a very, like, bit of both of you, which is really interesting. And, um, I will I will say that having been a reformed last-minute creative, I think helps me be able to navigate communication with you, Dad, specifically because you're right, the staff can get really frazzled if they are like, you need what video? What do you need edited? And you need this when? There's definitely those times, but I think it helps that. Yeah, but you gotta just figure it out, you know what I mean? And I think it's important to just surround yourself with people who know your style and can work with that style. And, um, as somebody that also works with you and being very planned, it's like, oh, you better not come to this meeting without your stuff, without your numbers. You better know it, it better be on hand, you better not be fumbling for it, you know what I mean? So it's just, it's learning and being able to adapt to that I think is really important with both of you having such different styles.

Sandra Yancey [00:20:58]:

I think that's also what's going to make you such a great CEO as you, you know, really take over the helm of eWomenNetwork, is that you do have a balance of both and you understand both because you've had to work so closely with two people that are polar opposites in terms of their work style.

Briana Dai [00:21:14]:

Yeah, totally. You know, it is a phenomenon to me how you both are so opposite yet you work so well together.

Kym Yancey [00:21:21]:

Well, also You know, truth be told, you know, you make decisions as to who you're going to talk to about what subject based on the temperament or the style of the other person.

Briana Dai [00:21:33]:

Yeah, that's true too.

Kym Yancey [00:21:34]:

You know what I mean? You guys will go to your mother for certain things that you don't go to me for.

Briana Dai [00:21:38]:

It's true.

Kym Yancey [00:21:38]:

And you'll go to me to share, you know, something really devastating because you— because, because you know Dad's going to take it on the down low.

Briana Dai [00:21:48]:

Yeah, yeah, Dad's going to stay calm, cool, and collected, and Mom is going.

Kym Yancey [00:21:52]:

To just flip out.

Briana Dai [00:21:54]:

What?

Sandra Yancey [00:21:57]:

Oh my God.

Briana Dai [00:22:01]:

Right? No, but really, did you know that?

Kym Yancey [00:22:02]:

No.

Briana Dai [00:22:02]:

Oh yeah. No, it's— you know what? It's so funny because that was how I grew up doing that. You know, like I would go to Dad for certain things growing up and I still do the same thing in the office, ironically enough. You know, there's certain things that I'm like, I'll go to Dad to talk about and then I'll come to you or vice versa. You know what I mean?

Sandra Yancey [00:22:18]:

Interesting.

Briana Dai [00:22:19]:

Yeah, it is. And I don't think it's a conscious thing. It's just like I just know who to talk to about what, right?

Sandra Yancey [00:22:25]:

You know, interesting.

Briana Dai [00:22:26]:

Yeah, it is interesting. It is interesting.

Kym Yancey [00:22:29]:

But what conference was it that we were doing? I'll never forget, uh, we were at the Intercontinental Hotel in Dallas on the Dallas Parkway, if you're familiar with Dallas. And, um, across the street is an In-N-Out Burger. So, you know, Sandra and I love— we love it.

Sandra Yancey [00:22:43]:

Oh yeah, we like our In-N-Out.

Kym Yancey [00:22:45]:

I'm on this particular conference, I— there was some stress we were going over, you know what I mean? Because I don't hold on to it, but there's some stress we were going over. And you decided you didn't want me to drive you home. You decided, I'm getting out now. She got out of the car. Oh, from Addison.

Briana Dai [00:23:08]:

Stop it.

Kym Yancey [00:23:09]:

You know what I mean? But let me tell you what I've learned about this. I was rather proud of this. Okay, okay, I'll give you your space.

Briana Dai [00:23:16]:

I'll let you walk.

Kym Yancey [00:23:18]:

I mean, you walked. A long distance.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:20]:

I sure did.

Kym Yancey [00:23:21]:

You know what I mean? And I think finally I pulled up to her because I was, you know, I wanted her to be safe, you know what I mean? I finally pulled up to her and I said, will you allow me to drive you home, please? And she finally, she got in the car. But we had, we had to get through that. But that was a stressful moment. Yeah, stressful time.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:41]:

I saved your life that day.

Kym Yancey [00:23:42]:

Did you?

Sandra Yancey [00:23:43]:

Yes, I did, by getting out of the car.

Kym Yancey [00:23:47]:

I have no idea.

Sandra Yancey [00:23:49]:

I think I wanted to kill you. Or something.

Briana Dai [00:23:53]:

Yeah, both of y'all needed to cool down a second. Yeah, that's so funny. I feel like that's happened a couple of times. I think I remember the four of us with me.

Kym Yancey [00:24:05]:

Rylan, and Dad.

Sandra Yancey [00:24:05]:

Where were we? It was like, what was that?

Briana Dai [00:24:08]:

Red Hot and Blue. Red Hot and Blues. I knew it started with an R. And the three of us, Dad, Rylan, and I, were like bickering, and Mom was like, I am so over y'all. I am so over y'all. I'm leaving. And you started walking home. You just left the restaurant.

Briana Dai [00:24:23]:

We started walking home. We're like, what just happened? Where did she go?

Kym Yancey [00:24:29]:

And I think she walked and we left.

Briana Dai [00:24:32]:

Yeah, we had to check out.

Sandra Yancey [00:24:33]:

We saw her and we pulled over.

Kym Yancey [00:24:35]:

We kind of pulled over and said, we're sorry.

Sandra Yancey [00:24:38]:

We had this whole thing called start over.

Briana Dai [00:24:40]:

Yeah, can we start over?

Sandra Yancey [00:24:42]:

That was our— that was a family.

Briana Dai [00:24:44]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:24:44]:

You know, anybody could say at any time, can we start over? Yeah. And everybody had to honor it.

Briana Dai [00:24:50]:

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I've tried to start doing that with Tatiana, but she does not understand that concept. So I think, at what age does the start over method start to kick in? Because she's 5. So starting over, she's like, "No!

Kym Yancey [00:25:05]:

No!".

Sandra Yancey [00:25:06]:

It was Ryland. I remember it was Ryland who put his window down and said, "Can we start over?".

Briana Dai [00:25:11]:

Yeah, yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:25:13]:

She was like, "I'm not having dinner and listening to the 3 of y'all." And you and Ryland bickering over him taking too much of the ice cream dessert. Became a thing. It ruined every meal. And I remember you taking your spoon and clicking his spoon away because he took too much ice cream. And finally, Dad said— oh yeah, we.

Kym Yancey [00:25:31]:

Got in like little fist fights.

Briana Dai [00:25:33]:

It was a little spoon fight.

Sandra Yancey [00:25:35]:

I ended up— swords.

Kym Yancey [00:25:36]:

I ended up— our son, man, you know, we would share dessert at the end, you know what I mean? And they bring the ice cream with the cake or whatever. We all would, you know, but he would tear up the ice cream first.

Briana Dai [00:25:48]:

And finally I got— I got— finally.

Kym Yancey [00:25:51]:

I got hip to the solution. Yeah, get him his own little ice cream. Yeah, his own little dish, a little extra scoop.

Briana Dai [00:25:57]:

Yeah, that is so funny. I'll solve that issue.

Kym Yancey [00:26:01]:

So, so, so what do you think are some key things, lessons you've learned about balance as relates to the family dynamic, business, and all that? I mean, you know, what's changed about you that, you know, yeah, you can say this I know has changed. No, it was— I was before— I.

Briana Dai [00:26:18]:

Think it was the first couple of years where were a real challenge for me. And I don't know if they were for the two of you, but internally it was hard because I found that I had a hard time acclimating to that professional environment and taking on and off the hat. And the very people that I would go to seek for advice on how to professionally say, you know what I mean, how would you professionally handle this frustration— like, the very two people I'd go for with that advice were you you know, and who were the people.

Sandra Yancey [00:26:48]:

That you were frustrated with.

Briana Dai [00:26:49]:

Exactly. So I didn't want to go to you and tell you how I really felt because then I'd be telling you how I really felt and it wasn't the professional way to do it. So there was this kind of this little bit of a period of kind of feeling like, um, the— I don't know, like I was at the disadvantage, um, because I wanted to show up in a good way, in a better— in a better way, but I didn't know how to talk to you about it. At the time. So I had to kind of figure that out, and it took me a little while to do that. But I think that the balance really started to kick in for me when I could truly— when I could truly separate mom and dad from Kim and Sandra, you know? Because it's true, like, the people that you are in the office are kind of totally different than the way you are at home, you know? And, and the environment, the work environment, and the way that you present yourselves in the— I had to change. The Brianna that presents herself at the office is a different Brianna than she is at home. I had to figure that out.

Briana Dai [00:27:49]:

And I think that when I started to refer to you both as Kim and Sandra, not in a— not in a— I'm embarrassed for people to know that they're my mom and dad in the office, but from a— it was.

Sandra Yancey [00:28:00]:

A— it was a— yeah, it was.

Briana Dai [00:28:02]:

A def— it was a defining It was creating that divide between the balance between when I'm dealing with mom and dad or when I'm dealing with the CEO and the CMO of the company.

Sandra Yancey [00:28:13]:

You walk into my office and you say, "Hey, Sandra," and I know immediately it's a business thing. You'll walk into my office and say, "Hey, mom, I want to run something by you," and I know immediately it's not.

Briana Dai [00:28:24]:

Personal.

Sandra Yancey [00:28:24]:

Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:28:25]:

Yeah, so I think that that's really important. And then also, just, I think you're really good as well when you give me a call. There were times when we were struggling, when it was hard for me to— communicate. And so I wasn't communicating very much. And then things would bubble up. And then the next thing you know, I'm feeling resentment. And then we would have a family meeting, and we would talk about it. And it took a few of those iterations of figuring out just how to communicate in the moment without letting things bubble up.

Briana Dai [00:28:54]:

But we're really good at repair. And I think that with family, working with your parents, or just any family member or spouse, being really good at repair and knowing that you're never going to quit on each other. You know, I think that whole start over.

Sandra Yancey [00:29:07]:

Yeah, it really is.

Briana Dai [00:29:08]:

It is that start over.

Sandra Yancey [00:29:09]:

Yeah, it has become kind of a, a safe word, a safe phrase. Yeah, you know what I mean? That we can just— we just start over and it immediately puts everybody in check. Yeah, I mean, everybody immediately takes a deep breath and say, okay, yeah, let's start over. Not just one person, but we all do it. And I think that's a— it's been a real, uh, great tool for us. I don't know if you call it a tool, but yeah, you know, way for us to manage.

Briana Dai [00:29:38]:

Even getting phone calls, there would be times when it was like, oh, I don't know if this is going to be work-related or personal, and I don't know that I can take a work call right now, you know what I mean? And so there would be times where it's like, I don't want to avoid answering my mom and dad's calls because what if it's something important and they need me? So I learned to like never not pick up the phone, but to vocalize at the beginning, like, I'm with Tati right now, or Trav and I are on the couch, Trav and I are watching a movie. Like, I'll, they'll I'll vocalize up front what mode I'm in.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:05]:

Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:30:05]:

So that you know, yeah, oh, she's in family mode right now, this can wait, or we can talk about this later. Or, oh, hey Tati, you know, hey Trav, you know. And then it— and then it— then we both kind of can level set on the nature of what we're communicating about.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:19]:

Yeah.

Briana Dai [00:30:19]:

You know, and I think respecting that and knowing, oh, she is with Tati, this can wait, right? You know, I think that you're really good at that, and I appreciate that.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:26]:

Or I'll call you about something work-related, but Tati will hear my voice.

Briana Dai [00:30:31]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:30:32]:

And then she'll say, "Hey, lovey." And I'll know immediately it's time to just switch.

Briana Dai [00:30:38]:

And you do, and you're like, "Go be with the baby.

Kym Yancey [00:30:39]:

Go be with the baby.

Briana Dai [00:30:40]:

Bye." And you hang up on me. And I'm like, "Okay, thank you.".

Kym Yancey [00:30:43]:

Do you feel the weight of pressure on you and expectations?

Briana Dai [00:30:51]:

I mean, it's not like totally crippling, but yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Going into the office, you know, it's like I've earned, I think, my stripes a little bit being 7 years in and now being at the VP level. But at first it was like I never wanted to be late and I always wanted to make sure that I was setting the tone and people saw like, oh, she's earned her right to be here. To me it was really proving that I've earned this. That was really important to me, you know? And like when I came into the company after doing my entrepreneurial thing, It was, I think, critical that I had done that because otherwise I wouldn't have felt like I had earned my stripes and earned my right and known what it was like to, to have a risk and to own a risk and all of that. But yeah, I mean, even like as we look at the succession plan coming to an end, I don't know if y'all have noticed, but I have really picked up my like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How is this company going to continue without you? Yeah, we have built this brand around you, you know, you— the good news.

Kym Yancey [00:32:00]:

Is it's not called sandrayancey.com.

Briana Dai [00:32:03]:

Right?

Kym Yancey [00:32:04]:

I mean, even though you have a website, you know what I mean? It's always— and we always knew from the very beginning it was going to.

Briana Dai [00:32:10]:

Be eWomenNetwork, and that was always the intention. But then it started to become more than that, you know? And you are the face of the brand, and people buy into it because of you. And I even got my own taste of that when I— a couple years ago, I think I went to Tucson, and I was pitching membership and conference and my conversion rates were horrendous because for me, selling our membership when you're the core deliverer of it is not— it doesn't, it doesn't click. And so for me, like, I've really gotten in touch with, okay, the future of this company is going to demand that I step up as a leader, so I need to be seen as such. And so I have certainly, I think, raised the bar in terms of how I'm showing up.

Sandra Yancey [00:32:50]:

And we've been very strategic in us doing more things together, right? It's a little bit of, you know, with Sandra and then Brianna. Now it's Sandra and Brianna, and over time it will be Brianna less Sandra.

Briana Dai [00:33:03]:

Yeah, you know, and I think that I value that for people that maybe are going through succession plans or thinking about family businesses. It's like, what is the end game of the business? And making sure that you're all on the same page with that, because I'm also— I've never wanted to drive that because I don't ever want it to feel like, oh, I'm trying to come in and step on your toes, you know, and And you don't. And that's, I think, really important because I do think that some families might get into business together and that could happen.

Sandra Yancey [00:33:26]:

Yeah, I think sometimes— and I, I actually have a friend where, um, I think she retired kind of under pressure and really didn't want to.

Kym Yancey [00:33:37]:

Yeah.

Sandra Yancey [00:33:37]:

And as a result of that, had a hard time really letting go, you know. I don't actually see myself ever leaving eWomenNetwork, but I certainly do not see myself— I am so clear that I am ready as we move through these next few years to— I am so ready to, you know, transfer the reins, the CEO reins to you. And I think you're— I mean, you've developed such phenomenal skills. I mean, I just watch it in our executive meetings, the questions you're asking, the numbers you're tracking, the things that you are noticing between the numbers that could drive the numbers. All of those things have gotten so keenly sharp at it. And I mean, I'm excited for you. I'm excited for the company. I'm excited for the next generations that are gonna be entrepreneurs and are gonna need your guidance, your voice, and that kind of thing.

Sandra Yancey [00:34:38]:

So I mean, I think it's a really terrific thing. And now, as we look into you, you know, getting into Harvard and, you know, doing a lot of the things to really understand what they've learned about succession planning.

Briana Dai [00:34:54]:

Um, dropped a bomb that nobody knows yet. Do you even know?

Kym Yancey [00:34:59]:

Yeah, I know.

Briana Dai [00:35:00]:

He's like, I know everything.

Sandra Yancey [00:35:04]:

Of course he does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:35:07]:

I, I will say, by the way, my, my voice might sound a little strange. I'm getting over bronchitis.

Sandra Yancey [00:35:14]:

Yes.

Kym Yancey [00:35:14]:

If anybody's ever— if you ever had that before, you kind of know what I'm talking about. But I'm on the downslide of it. But so if my voice sounds a little scratchy, I apologize. But, um, one thing in particular that I really appreciate that I've seen and observed in you is you take a beat before you respond sometimes. And I really respect that. I really respect the fact that you're listening And you're not like, you know, like, you know, someone's talking, the other person's waiting for their chance to jump in there, right?

Briana Dai [00:35:45]:

Yeah.

Kym Yancey [00:35:46]:

And I noticed that you let the person say what they got to say, listen, take a beat, and then you comment. And I, I happen to admire that, and I've noticed it. I think I've shared with you.

Sandra Yancey [00:35:58]:

Yeah, we've talked about it.

Kym Yancey [00:35:59]:

I've seen that shift in you because, uh, I think it's a very attractive quality for someone to have instead of someone that's always I remember, I remember one of my account executives when I had the advertising agency. We were in a meeting and talking to the client, and this account executive couldn't stand for there to be any dead air. So he called it dead air. You know what I mean? He always felt that when someone's— that you had to be right there, right there, right there with the comment. And, uh, I think it shows that the person is hearing what you've, what you've got to say, acknowledging it, and it gives it a lot more power. Because you did allow for some space, you know. So I think it's important in our relationship, you know, in both business and in personal. Yeah, you know what I mean, to embrace that.

Kym Yancey [00:36:43]:

So I, I, uh, you know, it's something that I notice.

Sandra Yancey [00:36:48]:

Yeah, me too.

Kym Yancey [00:36:48]:

And other people, and yeah, these are little things people think are little, but these are all part of the things that ingratiate you with the people you work with. Yeah, you know, and I try to do it.

Sandra Yancey [00:36:59]:

And I think it's tough sometimes because you get to balance those powerful pauses with also the demands to make quick decisions. It's a delicate dance.

Briana Dai [00:37:13]:

But at the end of the day, I think everybody just wants to be heard.

Sandra Yancey [00:37:16]:

Yeah, for sure.

Briana Dai [00:37:17]:

And yeah, just a work in progress. Aren't we all?

Sandra Yancey [00:37:26]:

Just so that you know, it never stops.

Briana Dai [00:37:29]:

Awesome. Okay, well, hey, I think that this is a pretty good show. We could keep on going forever, but why don't we, uh, call this one complete?

Sandra Yancey [00:37:36]:

Yeah, it's a wrap.

Briana Dai [00:37:37]:

It's a wrap. Until next time.

Sandra Yancey [00:37:40]:

Yeah, she doesn't just mean business, she means millions.